Lambing Biro Haplos

Disaster’s deeper wounds invisible

2012-01-22T07:39:00.000-05:00

By Ryan D. Rosauro
January 14, 2012
Inquirer Mindanao
Source:http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/128035/disasters-deeper-wounds-invisible

As three mascots entered the gymnasium of Iligan City East Central School on Wednesday afternoon, school children stood in jubilation.

The din of laughter and happiness belie the tragedy most of them survived more than three weeks earlier when rampaging floodwaters as tall as their houses engulfed their communities.

But many others may not be as jovial as the children. Last week, a flood survivor in Cagayan de Oro took his life, believed to be because of depression.

A week after the floods, the United Nations Office for Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (Ocha) sounded off the need for mental care services for flood survivors.

So far, such services have reached some 6,000 people in Cagayan de Oro and Iligan based on the Jan. 10 situation report of the National Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Council (NDRRMC).

Dr. Eric Talens, of the Philippine General Hospital and part of a 22-member University of the Philippines mission sent to Iligan days after the tragedy last December, also said they saw signs of posttraumatic stress disorder among the flood survivors.

So, how should one go on after a disaster as enormous as that which struck the two Northern Mindanao cities in the early hours of Dec. 17?

The question is not easy to answer. For most of over 120,000 families, accounting for 1.14 million people, throughout provinces that had taken the brunt of floods, mudslides and landslides on that day, the disaster completely altered their lives.

This is especially true for those in Iligan and Cagayan de Oro where the damage and destruction from the disaster were concentrated.

NDRRMC said some P1.4 billion in infrastructure and crops were wiped out by the flash floods. A total of 51,721 houses were either damaged or destroyed.

Until today, some 80,025 families or 429,309 people are dependent on humanitarian aid for daily survival.

Perception

Instead of happy reunions during the holidays, the disaster brought anxious goodbyes and moments of grief and mourning.

Yet, the answer to the hard question may be hidden in each of the persons whose lives Tropical Storm “Sendong” radically overturned.

“The key is in the way we perceive the incident which, in turn, influences our actions and decisions,” said Tina Lomoljo, executive director of nongovernment organization Balay Integrated Rehabilitation for Total Human Development Inc. which lost its office to the floods.

Lomoljo, whose organization is part of the Mindanao Emergency Relief Network (MERN), has organized at least three teams of volunteers to help provide psychosocial support services to the survivors in Iligan where more than 91,000 people were affected by the flood, over 23,000 of whom still stay at the evacuation centers.

Because of the massive demand for psychosocial support, MERN has partnered with another nongovernment group, Balay Rehabilitation Center, raising the number of volunteers to 31.

Some other groups like Balsa Mindanao and Ginhawa conduct play and art therapy sessions among children.

Age groups

Lomoljo said they categorize recipients of psychosocial care into age groups: below 5 years old, 5 to 6, 7 to 8, 9 to 10, 11 to 12, 13 to 17, and adults.

She added that this categorization is based on age-specific attributes like being at the developmental stage, the demonstration of evolving capacities, and the propensity to lean on peers.

On Wednesday morning, teachers at Iligan City Central School picked from among their Grade 1 pupils for a one-hour psychosocial support session that began with a game.

The children sing and act together with the facilitators and at a cue, chose a partner to whom they would introduce themselves.

From simply exchanging names, the task continues: asking where one lives to one’s favorite food. Initially, facilitators patiently help out the shy ones in order to encourage them to speak up. But they eventually came out of their shells.

Rising sun

Next, they were asked to portray in a bond paper, using crayons and pencils, what they can remember on the day the disaster struck. Many drew floating houses, drowning people, dark sky.
One stood out among them: A drawing of a rising sun.

In the process of doing their illustrations, the children noisily exchanged tales among each other about how they escaped the tragedy.

After a few minutes, some expressed sadness about lost toys and school things, and house appliances like a television set.

According to Lomoljo, it is best for people to open up and pour out their feelings about these tragic experiences in a group so that they feel there are other people apart from themselves that they can turn to for comfort and listening ears.

Trevor Clark, of the United Nations Children’s Fund, said the act of sharing experiences helps restore people’s ability to express themselves which is a necessary step toward coming to terms with a terrible incident.

After the game, children squat on a 10-square meter tarpaulin for a chat about their common tragic experience.

Anxiety with rain

When asked whether they sleep well at night, many children said they still experience dreaming of floating houses.

Most of them also said they are anxious when it rains.

“I will continue praying that God would not let the flood happen again,” said one child.

Daphne Macatimbol, a MERN facilitator, said in the process of conducting the sessions, they spot participants whom they think need “more intense attention” so that they can be subjected to follow through interventions.

Lomoljo said in such cases, they can be visited in their homes or temporary shelters, or referred to psychologists for professional attention.

But as in all tragic stories, there are accompanying comedies like the the tale of a 5-year-old child from Bayug Island whose family now stays at the Iligan tent city.

At the height of the flood, the child’s family climbed an acacia tree through the roof of their house which floated toward it. While clinging to a branch, the child prayed that “God would stop the rise of the water” because he didn’t want to get wet.

He also promised to his grandma he will not urinate because that can add to the water’s rise.

Resolve

Aside from coming to terms with the tragedy, Lomoljo said survivors need to be helped to “account for what they still have and be thankful for after everything has happened” so that they can overcome helplessness.

Among the children, Lomoljo cited the need to restore their opportunities for play for them to get over the tragedy fast.

This is why MERN has actively advocated for the allocation of “child spaces” in evacuation centers, or developing these in the new communities where the survivors are currently staying.
Ocha estimated that there are some 123,3000 affected school children aged 3-15 years in Cagayan de Oro and Iligan cities alone.

From doing sessions in the evacuation centers, Lomoljo said they will soon be reaching out to survivors who chose to remain in their shattered communities.

She emphasized that the sessions must continue even as the survivors are already relocated to permanent housing units.

“The true essence of rebuilding their lives is in coming to terms with the tragedy and having a resolve to move forward,” Lomoljo explained.

Asked how his family is getting along their new life at the tent city, Danilo Verano said: “We have no choice but to start from scratch. At least we are alive.”

Maybe, this was what one child meant when, during a psychosocial session, she sketched a rising sun.

Other sources
Images are taken from the websites below:
http://media.monstersandcritics.com/galleries/3353950_12051/0303919655085.jpg
http://blogs.oxfam.org/sites/blogs.oxfam.org/files/Philippines-Floods-2011-02.jpg
http://www.worldweatherpost.com/wp-content/uploads/timthumb.php?src=http://www.worldweatherpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/201201101107210758.jpg&q=100&w=570&h=320
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/12/18/article-2075439-0F36733F00000578-32_634x383.jpg

Tampuhan

2012-01-08T08:12:00.000-05:00

The Tagalog term tampo has no English equivalent. Magtampo is usually translated as 'to sulk', but it does not quite mean that. 'Sulk' seems to have a negative meaning which is not expressed in magtampo. It is a way of withdrawing, of expressing hurt feelings in a culture where outright expression of anger is discouraged. For example, if a child who feels hurt or neglected may show tampo by withdrawing from the group, refusing to eat, and resisting expressions of affection such as touching or kissing by the members of the family. A woman may also show tampo if she feels jealous or neglected by her beloved. Tampuhan is basically a lovers' quarrel, often manifested in total silent treatment or not speaking to each other.
The person who is nagtatampo expects to be aamuin or cajoled out of the feeling of being unhappy or left out. Parents usually let a child give way to tampo before he/she is cajoled to stop feeling hurt.

Usually, tampo in Filipino culture is manifested in non-verbal ways, such as not talking to other people, keeping to one's self, being unusually quiet, not joining friends in group activities, not joining family outing, or simply locking one's self in his or her room.

Sources

Article and image taken from:

http://www.pinoytumblr.com/post/2976662143/tampuhan-by-juan-luna-the-tagalog-term

Maligayang Pasko!

2011-12-23T09:21:00.002-05:00

Help Rebuild Cagayan De Oro

2011-12-18T07:39:00.001-05:00

Ligawan (Courtship in Philippine Culture)

2011-12-11T07:07:00.001-05:00

Panliligaw or ligawan are the Tagalog terms for courtship, which in some parts of the Tagalog-speaking regions is synonymous with pandidiga or digahan (from Spanish diga, 'to say, express'). Manliligaw is the one who courts a girl; nililigawan is the one who is being courted.

In Philippine culture, courtship is far more subdued and indirect unlike in some Western societies. A man who is interested in courting a woman has to be discreet and friendly at first, in order not to be seen as too presko or mayabang (aggressive or too presumptuous). Friendly dates are often the starting point, often with a group of other friends. Later, couples may go out on their own, but this is still to be done discreetly. If the couple has decided to come out in the open about their romance, they will tell their family and friends as well.

In the Philippines, if a man wants to be taken seriously by a woman, he has to visit the latter's family and introduce himself formally to the parents of the girl. It is rather inappropriate to court a woman and formalize the relationship without informing the parents of the girl. It is always expected that the guy must show his face to the girl's family. And if a guy wants to be acceptable to the girl's family, he has to give pasalubong (gifts) every time he drops by her family's house. It is said that in the Philippines, courting a Filipina means courting her family as well.

In courting a Filipina, the metaphor often used is that of playing baseball. The man is said to reach 'first base' if the girl accepts his proposal to go out on a date for the first time. Thereafter, going out on several dates is like reaching the second and third bases. A 'home-run' is one where the girl formally accepts the man's love, and they become magkasintahan (from sinta, love), a term for boyfriend-girlfriend.

During the old times and in the rural areas of the Philippines, Filipino men would make harana (serenade) the women at night and sing songs of love and affection. This is basically a Spanish influence. The man is usually accompanied by his close friends who provide moral support for the guy, apart from singing with him.

Filipino women are expected to be pakipot (playing hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behavior in a courtship dance. By being pakipot, the girl tells the man that he has to work hard to win her love. It is also one way by which the Filipina will be able to measure the sincerity of her admirer. Some courtships could last years before the woman accepts the man's love.
A traditional dalagang Pilipina (Filipinpa maiden) is someone who is mahinhin (modest, shy, with good upbringing, well-mannered) and does not show her admirer that she is also in love with him immediately. She is also not supposed to go out on a date with several men. The opposite of mahinhin is malandi (flirt), which is taboo in Filipino culture as far as courtship is concerned.

After a long courtship, if the couple later decide to get married, there is the Filipino tradition of pamamanhikan (from panik, to go up the stairs of the house), where the man and his parents visit the woman's family and ask for her parents blessings to marry their daughter. It is also an occasion for the parents of the woman to get to know the parents of the man.

During pamamanhikan, the man and his parents bring some pasalubong (gifts). It is also at this time that the wedding date is formally set, and the couple become engaged to get married.

Source

Article taken from:

http://www.seasite.niu.edu/Tagalog/love.htm

Images taken from:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3325/3410225843_54cb1d01fd.jpg

http://blog.gaiam.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/CutFlowersCROP.jpg

A Very Touching Video

2011-12-04T08:27:00.001-05:00

Tuksuhan

2011-12-01T07:29:00.000-05:00

The traditional dalagang Pilipina (Filipina maiden) is shy and secretive about her real feelings for a suitor and denies it even though she is really in love with the man.
Tuksuhan lang (just teasing) is the usual term associated with pairing off potential couples in Filipino culture. This is common among teenagers and young adults. It is a way of matching people who may have mutual admiration or affection for each other. It may end up in a romance or avoidance of each other if the situation becomes embarrassing for both individuals.

Tuksuhan (teasing--and a girl's reaction to it) is a means for 'feeling out' a woman's attitude about an admirer or suitor. If the denial is vehement and the girl starts avoiding the boy, then he gets the message that his desire to pursue her is hopeless. The advantage of this is that he does not get embarrassed because he has not started courting the girl in earnest. As in most Asian cultures, Filipinos avoid losing face. Basted (from English busted) is the Tagalog slang for someone who fails to reach 'first base' in courting a girl because she does not have any feelings for him to begin with.

However, if the girl 'encourages' her suitor (either by being nice to him or not getting angry with the 'teasers'), then the man can court in earnest and the tuksuhan eventually ends. The courtship then has entered a 'serious' stage, and the romance begins.

A man who is unable to express his affection to a woman (who may have the same feelings for him) is called a torpe (stupid), dungo (extremely shy), or simply duwag (coward). To call a man torpe means he does not know how to court a girl, is playing innocent, or does not know she also has an affection for him.

If a man is torpe, he needs a tulay (bridge)--anyone who is a mutual friend of him and the girl he loves--who then conveys to the girl his affection for her. It is also a way of 'testing the waters' so to speak. If the boy realizes that the girl does not have feelings for him, he will then not push through with the courtship, thus saving face.

Some guys are afraid of their love being turned down by the girl. In Tagalog, a guy whose love has been turned down by the girl is called sawi (romantically sad), basted (busted), or simply labless (loveless). Click here for Tagalog romantic phrases used in Filipino courtship.

Source

Article taken from:

http://www.seasite.niu.edu/Tagalog/love.htm

Image taken from:

http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users8/annemac/aroundlaoag/ligawan-sa-bintana--large-msg-1120451939-2.jpg

Things We Love About Being Pinay

2011-11-28T08:41:00.000-05:00

Article excerpt taken from http://www.maruism.com/tag/filipina/

We Pinays, we just love…

How we continually try to improve ourselves.
How we’re so effortlessly sexy.
How we’re so resilient and optimistic that can still wave and smile at a TV camera even after an earthquake or any calamity.
How Pinays can manipulate men without coming across as too crass or aggressive.
How we have so little body hair.
The way people from other countries rave about our year-round tan.
The way we have rhythm and can carry a tune.
That we’re just about the right size for any kind of height.
That we have so many other girl for different kinds of gripes.
How creative and artistic we are.
How we can get along with just about anybody.
Our killer smile.
How we can laugh during the most trying times.
How we can find a bargain in just about any city in the world!
How we’re so small we can fit all our girl friends in a car.
How we always smell nice.
How we have a sense of humor for every occasion.
How we do not deny ourselves of our right to assemble and eat.
What great company we are.
That we will die if we don’t take a bath everyday.
That we have just the right size boobs, butt, hips and waist.
That we always stand out and excel in any field.
That we’re so amazingly kuripot, it hurts.
How we can all sing, dance and cook—well!
How we absolutely love strange things like manggang hilaw, bagoong, aligue, and super-maasim na suka.
How, because we’re so used to making do, no matter how dire the conditions, we will always find a way.
How, no matter how poor we are magkamatayan na, we’ll still get manicures and pedicures and look fabulous.
How we’re so irresistible, we drive men of all nations insane.
How, once we put our minds to it, we can do and be whatever we want.

Mabuhay ang Pinay!

Images taken from:
http://www.iampinay.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/pinay.jpg
http://rlv.zcache.com/the_best_pinay_ever_apron-p154953773784836276q6wc_400.jpg

"Human Touch" is Necessary

2011-11-21T03:06:00.002-05:00

by: Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D

Two hundred years ago, a creature, looking somewhat human, was sighted running through the forests of Southern France. Out of curiosity, hunters brought it to Paris for further examination. Parisian scientists determined that it was indeed a human child of about eleven years of age who had lived alone in the wild for the last six years. They named him, "Victor." Victor ran, ate, drank, slept, and defecated much like an animal. He had no understanding of spoken speech and his own speech consisted of grunts and growls. Phillipe Pinel, the father of psychiatry, observed Victor and concluded that he was an incurable idiot. Pinel was wrong. A young physician by the name of Itard was much more on target. According to Itard, the boy was no idiot, he was simply deprived of human contact and therefore had no opportunity to learn behaviors and skills that we take for granted in a child.

Itard brought Victor home and spent five years laboring hard to teach him speaking, reading and writing. Victor learned to read, write, and understand simple words. However, in spite of living in the company of other human beings for 29 years after his capture, he never learned to socialize with others. Victor never made meaningful eye-contact with people and rarely paid attention when they talked to him. He related to others as if they were mere suppliers of his basic wants and needs. He never formed significant attachment with anyone. How unusual! Under normal circumstances, that is, if caring and loving adults are raising a baby, the baby comes to form strong attachment with the caregivers by the age of six to nine months.

Victor's story demonstrated to the world that genetic endowment and fulfillment of physical needs is not enough for a child to fully develop as a human being. Without human contact in the early formative years, Victor's physical, social, and emotional development was stunted for ever. Human contact is what makes us the human beings we are and sets us apart from other animals. By living in a human environment, we learn a highly developed and complex language, culture, thinking, and feelings. Presence of a stable, constant, and devoted caregiver is necessary in order for a child to develop love. Love can only develop if a child has formed a strong and unmistakable attachment to another human being, to his or her parent/s. This is what is called "infant-mother bonding." When a mother and a child are bonded, the child prefers the mother over all other human beings, constantly seeks contact with her, experiences significant joy in her company, and distress when even momentarily separated from her.

While the first two to three years are most important, it is the first few months of life which are critical for infant-mother bonding. There are physiological mechanisms in the first few moths after birth that strengthen infant-mother bonding. Some research suggests that Oxytocin, a hormone present in breast milk, helps in the formation of mother-infant bonding. Milk is just one element. The whole process of feeding, loving touch, gazing at the face, the eye-contact, voice, the smell of the mother's body and clothes, and many other elements of this physical closeness and touch help to strengthen the bonding.
In the absence of bonding and healthy attachment with an adult, a child may develop life-long emotional disturbances, becoming withdrawn, disinterested, depressed, cold, hateful, or angry for ever. A child who is emotionally neglected in the first few years may suffer pronounced physical consequences such as, being physically small, underweight, sickly, and undernourished. Such a child may survive but not thrive. Psychology has long identified the "failure to thrive syndrome." A child who is deprived of this most fundamental relationship, that is, the contact with a stable loving caregiver, can hardly thrive.

Interestingly, the word "thrive" is derived from the Old Norse word, thrifask. which literally means, "to have oneself in grasp" or "grasp something for oneself." Here is my spin on this word in the context of mother-infant bonding. The baby and mother must be in grasp of each other in order for a child to thrive and to succeed. How important is touch for us as a society? Just count the number of times you use the word, "contact." Contact literally means "touch." Also, notice how many times you use the expression, "stay in touch," or "I will get in touch with you." This is an uncanny insight on part of our culture to see the connection between thriving and touch.

All this talk about mother-infant bonding does not imply that fathers don't play a crucial role in a child's development. They do. Babies from very early age recognize and experience joy in presence of a stable, loving, caring male. In human beings, and many species of birds and mammals, both parents care for their offsprings. Bi-parental care appears to be better suited for survival. To provide bi-parental care, there has to be a strong, stable, and loving "pair bonding" between a male and a female.

Source

Article taken from

http://www.mindpub.com/art173.htm

Images taken from

http://static.tvguide.com/MediaBin/Galleries/Imported/Movies/6/39138a.jpg

http://www.vegetarian-nutrition.info/images/touch-therapy.jpg

http://ecowellness.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/human-touch.jpg

The Importance of Touch

2011-11-17T00:00:00.001-05:00

We're all born with a great need for touch. To thrive, newborns must be fed touch as much as food. Studies in orphanages and hospitals repeatedly tell us that infants deprived of skin contact lose weight, become ill and even die. We know that premature babies given periods of touch therapy gain weight faster, cry less, and show more signs of relaxed pulse, respiration rate and muscle tension.

We've seen the bumper stickers asking have you hugged your child today? Children instinctively initiate and seek out touch when they need it. In fact, the absence of this behavior is a red flag for possible neurological damage or a possible history of abuse. As we grow older, we may begin to receive less and less touch. We may hesitate to initiate it ourselves. We may come to associate touch exclusively with sexuality. We forget that we still need touch as much as we did when we were youngsters.

Many of us rationalize that touch isn't important. Part of this may be to cover up hurt from our past if we grew up in families that didn't touch each other. Sometimes it's hard to admit we missed out on such an important human need. To help overcome that thinking consider this interesting study.

Librarians were instructed alternately to touch and not touch the hands of students as they handed back their library cards. Then the students were interviewed. Those who had been touched reported far greater positive feelings about themselves, the library, and the librarians than those who had not been touched.

This occurred even though the touch was fleeting and the students didn't even remember it!

Consider when during the day you are touched or reach out to touch. Do you restrict yourself to handshakes? What kind of hugs are you comfortable with? Do you subscribe to what's been called the all American A-frame? While those in many other part of the whole give whole body hugs, we Americans tend to bend forward only from the waist, keeping our lower bodies apart from each other.

Have you ever been hugged and felt something was off, but you didn't know what? Maybe you were the recipient of another style of hugging - the Baby Burp, the Drumbeat or the Chimpanzee! Can you envision the rat-a-tat-tat, the rapid patting, and the flapping of alternate hands?

If you're a senior, you are in the least touched group in our culture. Part of the blame lies with our culture's emphasis on associating youthful skin with touchable skin, as well as touch being linked with youthful sexuality. Another factor is probably the greater number of people in this age group who live alone. If we restrict our touch to a spouse we may be in big trouble.

But seniors have wonderful opportunities to teach others about the value of touch. Fortunately, as we age, there tends to be a softening of our rigid ideas about things. I know this goes against commonly held views, but we know it's accurate. Seniors are not more stubborn or more stuck in their ways. We know you are actually increasingly flexible and willing to adapt new roles!
So ask yourself how you're doing with getting and giving touch. Consider deliberately touching others more often and see how it feels. When sitting and talking, reach out occasionally to lightly touch the other's forearm, hand or shoulder. When a friend is tired, offer a shoulder or neck rub. Remember that when we touch, we get the benefit as well.

Observe whether you ever ask for touch. It's OK to say, "I need a hug." Ever had a massage? Consider a brief foot massage if you're not sure you're comfortable with more. And don't forget you can give yourself a massage - rubbing your feet, neck, temples even for a few minutes reduces stress. How about the idea of exchanging carbs with a friend on a regular basis? For those of you living in senior communities, I bet you'd find many takers if you organized a weekly shoulder massage gathering!
© Debra Moore Ph.D.

Source

Article taken from: http://library.adoption.com/articles/the-importance-of-touch.html

Images taken from:

http://justparentingadvice.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/30382604.thb_.jpg

http://www.powerfulparentadvocates.com/blog_post_images/0000/0031/hug_medium.jpg?1279243458

http://28.media.tumblr.com/gTgZpUjhepjhrg6mxBmLNWpgo1_500.jpg

Pinoy Store Names

2011-11-06T10:08:00.004-05:00

The following are names of existing real-life business establishments.

Ali Baka ( Shawarma )

Anita Bakery

Beefer 150 ( Meat Shop )

Common Cents Store ( Sari-sari Store )

Crispy per minute ( Crispy Pata Eatery )

Curl Up And Dye ( Beauty Salon )

Doris Day and Night ( 24 hour eatery )

Elizabeth Tailoring

Farmacia With Love ( A Drugstore )

Felix the Cut ( Barber Shop )

Funeraria Mabuhay

Tree's Company

Goto Haven

Goldirocks ( Gravel & Sand Shop )

Labo Optical

L.B.M. Restaurant

Maid To Order ( Maids Placement Agency )

Mane Attraction ( Beauty Parlor )

Meating Place ( Meat Shop )

Memory Drug ( A Mercury Drug Clone )

Nacho Fast ( Nachos To Go )

O'Beer Time ( Bar cum Nightclub )

Passers Buy ( Convenience Store )

Perm Foundation ( A Christian Beauty Salon )

Petal Attraction ( Flower Shop )

Saudia Hairlines ( Beauty Salon )

Scissors Palace ( Barber shop )

Second Time Around ( Second Hand Watch Store )

TapSi TurBi ( Tapa, Sinangag, Turon at Bibingka )

The Way We Wear ( Boutique )

Wash & Carry ( Laundromat )

Mercy Buko ( Fresh Coconut Roadside Shop )

Dear Hunter ( Mail Order Brides )

MacDonuts ( Donut Shop )

Mat & Jeep ( Jeep Accessories Shop )

Your Best Vet ( Veterinary Clinic )

Sources

Article taken from:

http://bethong.tripod.com/pinoy19.htm

Images taken from:

http://i537.photobucket.com/albums/ff335/suroycccp/Picture17.jpg

http://www.spot.ph/files/2010/05/funny-signs-click.jpg

You May Be Married to a Filipina If...

2011-11-03T09:07:00.000-04:00

(written by an American guy who loves his Filipina wife in spite of the numerous "irregularities")

Your refrigerator is always full but you cannot find any food that you recognize
Instead of a dowry, you got the whole bill for the wedding and honeymoon

Most of the decorations in your house are made of wicker
You are expected to be able to read her mind just by watching her eyebrows move up and down and which way her lips are pointed

All her relatives think your name is Joe
The instant you are married you have 3000 new close relatives thatyou can't tell apart

Your house isn't really on fire, but there is a very charred fish right on top of the stove burner
All the desserts are sticky and all the snacks are salty...

She eats her fruit with giant salt crystals and her fried chicken with ketchup
Even the ketchup tastes weird... very weird

You throw a party and everyone is fighting to chop the leathery skin off a dead pig
All your kids have 4-5 middle names

Your in-laws take 10 years to acknowledge your existence and to call you by something other than "that white guy"
You try to call her up on the phone and someone tells you "for a while" and you want to know "for a while, what??"

You are trying to go to sleep and she keeps asking for the comFORT'r, and you ain't got a clue what she's talking about
Your first Christmas present is some funny looking baggy see-thru shirt made out of leftover lace doilies

Your phone bills are all international and average 3 hours per call
She sweeps with something that witches usually fly around on

Her idea of classy, expensive champagne is Asti Spumante
The rice cooker is on 24 hours a day and uses up 50% of your electric and food budget

On your first trip to the Philippines, you have 18 giant boxes that weigh 1000 pounds each and your "carry on" luggage requires a small forklift truck
The same luggage is over filled with things that cost an average of 15 cents each like old magazines and M&Ms -- the worst part is when you get off the plane, the same stuff you've been hauling around halfway around the world is available in every store in the airport for half the price!

All her pajamas look like they were worn by the Dalai Lama until they got too faded
The first time she's pregnant you have to go out at 4:00 in the morning looking for some weird type of greasy sausages

You buy a new _500 freezer so she can store 200 pounds of SPAM that was on sale
Everything in your house was bought on sale, even if you don't need it ..as long as it was a "bargain" is all that matters

She gets really excited by sucking the fat out of pig knees
Your daughter gets her ears pierced when she's 2 minutes old but your sons are not circumcised until they turn 21

All your postage bills instantly double
You hire a Ya-Ya because your wife thinks you clean mirrors with soap and a sponge and the Ya-Ya seems cheaper than a divorce

The only "white meat" she likes is You, and that's if you're lucky
Her favorite sauce is called "patis," Americans call it turpentine

She actually thinks that bowling and golf and billiards are real sports and are more important than baseball and football
You were married 5 years before she explained to you that "ARAY!" doesn't mean "ooh, baby!"

She prefers bistek to beef steak
Her idea of new upholstery is rinsing the bagoong stains out of the slip covers

She can eat and talk at the same time, in fact that's her specialty!
She thinks that the American National Anthem is The Macarena

Her favorite meal is leftovers, her favorite fancy dessert is Jello mold and for something REALLY romantic, she'll offer you a halo-halo with 2 straws
You still don't know what's the difference between manong and manok

She and the kids are always saying "Daddy made utot" and you still don't know what it means but they think it's pretty funny
Other than eyebrow raising and lip puckering, her next most expressive form of communication is grunts and pssst's

She goes to the movies just for the AC
Her homeland has more Megamalls than islands

Before every holiday and visit, her sisters fax you a 10 page "bilins" list which says "suggestion only"
Your kitchen table has a merry-go-round in the middle

Her race is the only one known to be bigger cheapskates than the Jews
All the vegetables she buys at the Filipino store look like they were grown at Chernobyl

Your in-law's first visit last 6 years
Her friends are named Chinky, Girlie, Boy and Bimbo and you are not allowed to smirk

Her home economics course only taught shopping, eating and siesta; cooking, cleaning and sewing were not electives
Her idea of edifying reading is gossip magazines

All your place settings has the silverware backwards and there are no knives
She washes her hair with a bucket and her car with a broom

Her favorite book (she has 3 copies) is "1001 New Recipes for Pig Parts You Were Gunna Throw Out"
You are the only family in a 200 mile radius with 2 Betamaxes, 3 televisions

She's done her best job planning a surprise party for you if she manages not to tell you about it until a week or two before
She "cleans" her closet by throwing all the crap into your closet.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST: You are pretty proud of yourself because you think you snagged up for yourself some unique, rare, tropical goddess type until you go to the Philippines and can't tell her apartfrom anyone else in the whole country (unless she's taller than 5'1", then it's a bit easier)

Source:

http://bethong.tripod.com/pinoy4.htm

"When Are You Coming Home?"

2011-10-30T10:13:00.000-04:00

“When are you coming home?” My mom would always utter that to me religiously over the phone whenever I speak with her. Like a music aging, echoing in my ears even in my sleep if it would even let me sleep. I would always tell her in my irritant voice: “Mom, I’ve been there four months ago!” Before, I would tell her, “Mom, I was there three months ago.” Prior to that – “Mom I was there two months ago.” It was endless – “Mom, I was there a month ago.” And on and on like the first time – “Mom, I was there two days ago. Remember, at the airport?”
At the airport, where she dragged herself to walk just to see me go. She asked me naively as if were a child “Who are leaving?” I told her “I am leaving mom. I’m going abroad with my son and my husband. I’m going back to the states.” She smiled and held me tightly. Her embraces are the warmest, her smile, the sweetest. Her actions were lucid, flowing like water. Sometimes I’m thinking, she knows what she’s doing, that maybe she just refuses to see what was going on , and what was coming.

As I walked away from her, she asked me softly, “When are you coming home?” I just smiled at her and turned my back, I have to go. I turned around, had a second look at her, I saw the saddest face on earth. I want to go back, and feel her warm hands on my face the way she held my face when she left me on my first day in school and told me “Everything will be okay. You are my strong child.” Only this time, I will tell her “Everything will be okay. You are my strong mother.” But I didn’t. I was too weak. I was the one in denial. I was the one who is distorted. I was the one with the saddest face.

She’s seventyish now, God forgive me, I couldn’t even recall her exact age and here I am lamenting how aging affects her memory. How aging is inevitable and how she’s crossing the thin line between her illusion and her reality. Her asking me always when I’m coming home is almost like a sicked cycle in a sicked mind. I hate to hear that. I hate to see how age could defeat her. How age and aging would tear her memory apart, piece by piece, slowly and treacherously.

Last week I called her again, and just like before, she asked me: “When are you coming home?” I replied, “Maybe in two years mom, I dunno.” We’ll always end the conversation with “i love you” and “i miss you”, and of course, she’d end it again with a question “When are you coming home?”

This morning I called her. This morning was different. She’s in the hospital, she might even be in her “death-bed”, I insisted on hearing her voice. I talked to her briefly, as I mumbled and cried in between, I told her how much I miss her and how much I love her. She told me how much she misses me, how much she loves me and she asked me while she’s struggling her way to breathe : “When are you coming home?” I broke down in tears. It was deafening silence.

I wish I could hear her again say “When are you coming home?”

###

Note: i wrote this after my last telephone conversation with my mother while on her “death-bed”. She passed away august 28, 2009.

Sources

Article taken from:

http://definitelyfilipino.com/blog/2011/04/14/when-are-you-coming-home/

Image taken from:

http://www.visualphotos.com/photo/2x4641997/mother_and_child_in_doctor_waiting_room_22ja0027rf.jpg

The Power of Lambing

2011-10-23T06:23:00.000-04:00

By: Kat Mayo

This was my first feature article for a print magazine. It went through a few revisions, and I can only be grateful that Michelle Baltazar was (and is) such an understanding editor and mentor.

There’s a reason why Filipinas are so good at grabbing a bargain. And it’s not just the fact that we know where all the factory outlets are. It’s because we harness the power of lambing. Loosely translated, this means expressing physical or verbal endearments to show affection or, in the case of shopping, to get a good deal on that new lounge suite.

The English language has no equivalent word for lambing or karinyo. It can mean tenderness, charm, affection, love, flirtation and even flattery. But these words don’t fully convey the underlying sense of building and nurturing relationships that forms a big part of what lambing is all about.

While great for negotiating discounts, lambing is expressed in many different kinds of relationships. It permeates interactions with family, friends, lovers and associates. For example, it’s not unusual to see Filipinas in their twenties—and beyond—being openly affectionate to their parents. Most Aussie women would find this seemingly childish behaviour mortifying.

This difference is a reflection of our values. Aussies appreciate forthrightness—something that lambing avoids. Aussies are pragmatic; Filipinos love sentimentality. We might exude independence to the prying eyes of another culture, but many of us understand that among Filipinos, displays of affection are not only acceptable, they’re often expected.

Most of us are taught lambing at an early age. Remember how your cheeks were rubbed raw at family gatherings from the many kisses and kurot (pinches) you endured? Refuse your tita’s waiting arms and she might have turned away with a disgruntled, ‘Hmph!’ But two seconds later, she’d win you over with her own demonstration of lambing—an enticing bite of dessert, a trinket or some pocket money. What kid can resist a five-dollar note?

Yes, learning to be malambing can be very lucrative. But it shouldn’t be confused with bribery even though the result can sometimes make it seem that way. Lambing can simply be a cajoling tone or a light pat on the arm, which transforms a potential confrontation into co-operation.
Nowhere is lambing more obvious than in courtship. The more direct approach favoured by Australian culture can seem jarring to Filipinas who have grown up expecting the pampering and devotion that their mothers experienced. In romance, lambing is all about the little things. Like driving you to and from work, burning a DVD of the entire season of Grey’s Anatomy because you mentioned you liked the show, sending text messages, and penning love notes filled with original poetry.

Meanwhile, your suitor should also be showing the rest of your family some lambing on the side. Your Mum may say she doesn’t like him but if she’s eating that box of Guylian he bought her, things are looking good. Dad might be trickier but that’s part of the ritual—what a guy does to win your family over, he does to win you over.

While it may seem slightly mercenary, lambing requires sincerity and genuine affection or respect on both sides. One woman’s idea of lambing can be another’s paranoia. For example, a guy who calls every day ‘just to hear your voice’ can result in kilig (good goose bumps) or kilabot (bad goose bumps), depending on whether or not you return his affection.
Lambing allows couples to demonstrate to families and friends that they’re serious about each other without being accused of inappropriate behaviour. Many older Filipinos still frown at anything beyond holding hands or a quick kiss, especially if you’re a woman. There’s nothing sexual about asking your boyfriend if he wants another drink, or him letting you have the last bite of chocolate cake, but these actions demonstrate that you care for each other’s wellbeing.

If you’re lucky, the lambingan won’t end after the honeymoon. After three years of marriage, Melissa feels her husband’s affection in the way he checks the car and fills it up with petrol when he knows she’ll be using it. ‘He doesn’t have to … but he does it anyway, because he knows it saves me a lot of time and inconvenience.’ Watch the married couples at a senior citizens’ gathering and you’ll notice a hundred little ways that they show affection.

But what about couples who seem to bicker all the time and needle each other endlessly? Karinyo brutal is another form of affection which works through a kind of reverse psychology. It can be an alternative form of attention, or a way to test the other person’s feelings without risking outright rejection. Teasing, mocking and even pretending to reject the other person works for some; it can be perplexing for others.

Lambing goes beyond relationships with loved ones. You can use it to get a discount on a washing machine at Good Guys, receive better service at the local café, manage difficult work colleagues, and negotiate with clients. Done well, it can help you get what you want or manoeuvre yourself out of a tight spot.

Dr Bet Roffey, Associate Professor at Flinders University, asserts that even Filipino businesswomen in leadership positions demonstrate behaviours, such as lambing, which reinforce the idea of the ‘virtuous Filipina’. It can provide a way to negotiate the male amor propio (self-image) and avoid embarrassment.

Because of this, Filipinas may find it difficult to demonstrate the kind of assertiveness expected in the Australian workplace. For example, how do you negotiate a pay rise without actually asking your boss? Lack of directness can be seen a weakness. And, says Dr Mina Roces from the University of New South Wales, it can be misinterpreted as flirtation.

Still, there are plenty of older generation Australian Filipinas who use karinyo to their advantage, both in their professional and personal lives. Dr Roces contends that lambing can be used to appeal to the Filipino ‘ethos of male gallantry’ to influence and exercise power.

Lambing exerts strength in its own way. ‘A statement said in a teasing tone accompanied by a half smile, a gentle nudge, slight tilt of the head and eye contact is lambing,’ says Pia*, whose approach to dealing with work colleagues and customers relies on being karinyosa. ‘Saying the same statement in an abrupt manner with an unsmiling face, no eye contact and a physical distance of half a metre from the other person can come across as a challenge.’ The latter approach, she points out, is more likely to result in an argument.

Australian Filipina mothers try to pass on this wisdom to their bi-cultural daughters: that while the assertive, straight talking ideal of Western feminism works in context, it can co-exist with the gentler approach of lambing. Sweet talking can be more effective, says Pia, than being direct. It’s not sneaky, she adds, ‘just clever and resourceful. Not only do we get what we want, it also gives the other person a way of saving face.’

But perhaps what is most endearing about lambing is its slightly cheeky playfulness. Like when you call home with an exuberant, ‘Dad, I’ve missed you sooo much!’ There’s a small pause. ‘Can I borrow some money?’

And you know what? If you’ve showered him with lambing throughout the years, you probably won’t have to pay him back.

*Name has been changed.

This article was first published in the October/November issue of the Australian Filipina. Here’s a list of sources I used for the article:

Roffey, Bet H. ‘Strategic leadership and management in the Philippines: dynamics of genders and culture’ in Labour and Management in Development Journal, 2000:1(10), Asia Pacific Press.
Giskin, Howard. ‘Women, Power, and Kinship Politics: Female Power in Post-War Philippines’ in Journal of Third World Studies, Spring 2002. (This article is a critique of Roces, Mina. Women, Power, and Kinship Politics: Female Power in Post- War Philippines. Westport, CT: Praeger Publishers, 1998.)
‘Dream wedding’ by Melissa Alfonso-Cruz (with permission from the author), which appeared in INQUIRER.net but is no longer available online

Sources
Article taken from this website: http://katmayo.com.au/2010/08/the-power-of-lambing/
Images taken from:
http://celebritynewsexpress.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/shamcey-supsup-miss-philippines.jpg
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_OIvTipEQsw4/SJJhgs1vjXI/AAAAAAAAB_I/fyefxbjsScU/s400/filipinocouple.JPG
http://images.quickblogcast.com/6/1/3/0/1/118159-110316/Filipino_Family.jpg

A Touching Lumpia Story

2011-10-20T08:49:00.001-04:00

This is for all the Filipinos out there, and those who are lucky enough to have Filipino friends, those who have Filipino spouses and those who have Filipino next door neighbors.

The story goes like this:

An elderly foreigner lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite food, Filipino Lumpia.
Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands he crawled to the kitchen.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. For there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite food, LUMPIA .

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Filipino wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture…his parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the lumpia was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand trembled on to a lumpia,

when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife:

“Git out op here!” she shouted. “dis are por your puneral !”

Taken from:

http://pinoyjokes.net/main/a-touching-lumpia-story/

Images taken from:

http://www.socypath.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/lumpia.jpg

Military Dad Surprises Daughter at Spelling Bee After She Spells 'Sergeant'

2011-10-16T07:59:00.001-04:00

A Hug a Day will keep the doctor AWAY!!

2011-10-10T09:40:00.002-04:00

April 4th, 2011 by Busem Doğan

In fact people say ‘An apple a day will keep the doctor away!’ But Randa Williamson-Maloy changed this saying into that title to emphasize the importance of hugging. As a teacher who works with young learners I believe wholeheartedly that a hug in a day (or more than a few) will keep us alive and well too.

Hugging is a therapeutic drug for everybody especially for children. Unfortunately many of them are missing out on the wonders of being hug which may be a contributing factor to many of the negative behaviour of them. Hugging is a way of fulfilling the profound physical and emotional need for touch in human beings.

Unfortunately, this need for touch seems to have gotten lost in the fast-paced world we live in, where we substitute physical contact with the television,smart phones or internet. This results in many of children being deprived of a simple, cost-less and crucial element for their development, survival and emotional well-being. Hugging a child is one of the ways of show affection and love. Any adult can share hugs with any child. It has powerful effects that can transform the physical and emotional well-being of the c

Hugging;

helps the body’s immune system
cures depression
reduces stress
induces sleep
revitalize

Children also benefit from hugging as it;

makes them feel better about themselves and their surroundings
makes them more loving and affectionate
induces and is an expression of forgiveness
positively affect their development and IQ
increases their sense of security, safety, trust and happiness
relieves pain
relieves loneliness, frustration, anxiety and other negative emotions
opens doors to feelings that children may need to share – reducing the likelihood of explosive behaviors
overcomes fear
eases tension
imparts feelings of belonging
transfers energy and gives the child hugged an emotional boost

Yes I know it is not about technology :) It is more than that… For a little while leave all your tech stuff aside and hug! Hug your students make them feel better, happier and healthier. ‘It is free! It is natural! It is a miracle drug!’ says Kathleen Keating.

Here are some hugging tips:)

1. Bear hug- one hugger is taller than the other. The short hugger stands straight against the tall hugger who may stand straight slightly curved over the short one. The tall hugger wraps his/her arms around the other’s shoulders while the other hugs around the waist or chest for a few seconds. For a more powerful effect the hug can last ten seconds or more.

2. Cheek Hug- can be experienced while sitting or standing. Each hugger turns towards the other and press the sides of their face together. For the hug to be most effective each hugger should ensure that they are relaxed by breathing slowly and deeply. One hand can be used to support the other’s back while the other hand supports the back of their head. This hug stirs feelings of happiness and kindness.

3. Sandwich Hug- appropriate for both parents and a child. The two adults face each other with the child in the middle facing either parent. Each adult reaches towards the other’s waist and hug. This hug gives the child a sense of security especially if he/she is experiencing negative emotions.

4. Heart- centered hug- this is the highest form of hugging. With this hug each person directly looks at the other eyes while facing each other. The arms are wrapped around the shoulders or back. They just hold on each other in love

Source

Article and images were taken from: http://busemd.edublogs.org/

Prof. Argonza’s TV5 Interview On Filipino’s Happines

2011-10-03T09:00:00.003-04:00

PROF ARGONZA’S TV5 INTERVIEW ON FILIPINOS’ HAPPINESS

Erle Frayne D. Argonza

Good day, fellow global citizens!

Yours truly was interviewed anew by the TV5 program Tayuan Mo at Panindigan, with the topic focused on Filipinos’ happiness. Hosting the episode were Aida Uy, Wilma Dosent, and Izza Litton whose magnetic stage presence did give life to the occasion.

Interestingly, an urban poor woman agreed to be interviewed too, as a living witness to what makes Filipinos happy. She brought along her four (4) daughters who joined her in the customary Pinoy ‘salo-salo’ treat to guests offered by the Channel 5 network.
The latest research of the National Statistics Coordination Board or NSCB, chief government survey agency, showed that Filipinos put top priority on family, health, and religion in that rank order, when asked what are the topmost indicators that make them happy. The same research showed other important happiness sources as friends, financial security, education, love life, and work. Sex was among the bottom 5 happiness indices, which surprised the NSCB.

Being the sociologist/expert for the occasion, I was asked to explain the patterns that make Filipinos happy. I first had to weigh the results of the latest research, before I could present my own analysis.

In standard sociological discourse, values provide frames for individual choices. Values are those matters that people regard as social premiums, they are the core foundations of culture, and they are largely shared across classes and ethnicities. They are also the ones that define what is happiness for persons and aids them in prioritizing happiness indicators.

Filipinos put a great premium of relationships—to fellow Pinoys, family members, God & divine beings. Kapwa and loob are the pillars of our values, with kapwa governing the interpersonal domain while loob guides the intrapersonal.

By social relationships we refer here to the personalistic, traditional, informal ties in the domain of the ‘private sphere’. That contrasts to the that are impersonal, segmented, utilitarian valued highly in Western, industrial societies, ties that may enable one to shine career-wise but do not necessarily make people happy.
Happiness, as a positive intrapsychic state, can range from contentment to euphoria and bliss. Jobs and money do make Filipinos happy, but they matter only insofar as these enable Pinoys to have the means to face people, satisfy the needs and caprices of their fellows, and pay homage to Supreme Deity (payback through some donations to church or humanitarian groups).

Asked about the ranking of Pinoys in the global happiness surveys, I shared the facts that Pinoys would rank in the range of middle-to-high ranks. Pinoys never fell short of the middle range in happiness, and are among the happiest peoples in Asia.

No wonder that suicides don’t occur in the Philippines as high as they occur in Western/industrial countries, where as high as 5,000-10,000 deaths per year happen in major cities. Loneliness and depression are often the driving forces behind suicides, so the message is clear that Pinoys don’t do suicides a lot given their middle-to-high happiness inclinations.

It was another truly informative exchange of ideas and opinions. TV5 audiences surely will have much to benefit from such an informative program as the Tayuan Mo at Panindigan.

[Philippines, 07 July 2011]

Article Source: http://unladtau.wordpress.com/2011/07/10/prof-argonza%E2%80%99s-tv5-interview-on-filipinos%E2%80%99-happiness/

Images taken from:

http://tx.english-ch.com/teacher/tsai/level-b/philippine-culture-common-family-traits/

http://mycubaodotorg.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/rosary-man-praying.jpg?w=175&h=150&crop=1

http://doctorexclusive.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/vegetables_healthy_food.jpg

Humor in Psychotherapy

2011-09-25T08:34:00.000-04:00

By Laura L.C. Johnson on June 25, 2009 – 11:01 am

Laura L.C. Johnson, MBA, MA, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in California. Visit her Web site. She integrates positive psychology with cognitive behavior therapy, which has been shown to be effective for a wide variety of problems in hundreds of studies. Her clients learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviors, and emotions

It is my belief, you cannot deal with the serious things in the world unless you understand the most amusing. – Winston Churchill

I enjoy humor even though I’ve never been much of a joke teller. I am included in the 98% of people who say they can’t tell a joke because they don’t remember them. Looking back on my sessions with clients, I notice that I find humor and laughter refreshing and it helps strengthen the bond I feel with my clients. Recently after an intake with a new client, my supervisor said, “I heard a lot of laughter in your office. Must have been a good session.” Sometimes my clients bring humor into the session, lightly poking fun at themselves. Other times, I use gentle humor to help bring awareness to an issue with which they’ve been struggling.

Humor is Helpful

According to the Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor www.aath.org , humor is “any intervention that promotes health and wellness by stimulating a playful discovery, expression or appreciation of the absurdity or incongruity of life’s situations.” Goldin and Bordan, leaders in the counseling field, indicate they both plan to use humor as well as use it spontaneously.

Humor can be useful in therapy in two ways – as an assessment tool and as a therapeutic tool (Reynes & Allen, 1987, Goldin & Bordan, 1999, 2006) to:

Strengthen the rapport between the client and counselor
Facilitate communication, keep the client focused and make the counseling process more interesting
Assess the client’s degree of psychological functioning
Enable the client to change to a more useful perspective by seeing the world’s absurdities
Offer the client a less painful perspective of a painful problem
Add to the client’s social repertoire and coping tools
Reduce stress and tension during the therapy session

Timing is Everything

“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” – Joe Ancis

Humor must be used properly to be most effective. If humor is used too soon, the counselor might be viewed as someone who is insensitive to the client’s concerns. Goldin and Bordan explain that humor can be inappropriate in counseling under certain conditions:

When it is experienced as disrespectful or could offend the client
When it makes a client feel they are not being taken seriously
When it is used to frequently and becomes boring
When the counselor uses it to avoid dealing with client anxieties
When a client views it as irrelevant to his or her reasons for being in counseling
When it is inappropriately timed

Ways To Use Humor with Clients

There are many ways to use humor in counseling without needing to be a comedian. One of the key ingredients for humor is the ability to be childlike (Godfrey, 2004). Specifically, a counselor, coach or other healing professional could:

Ask your client, “How would an 8 year old see this situation?” to help your client reframe the issue into a less troublesome perspective
Encourage your client to keep a humor journal every night or once a week recalling things that made them laugh or an amusing incident that happened that day
Encourage your clients to watch funny films , read joke books and attend comedy shows
Ask your clients to share an amusing anecdote or observation during the session
Give the client a cartoon that touches on the problem in a more playful way
Set up your office with humorous stimuli such as books, calendars, cartoons, props and posters to improve the wait and cheer up your clients
Write a laughter prescription asking your client to read their favorite comic strip every morning with coffee
Ask your client to develop a Humor First Aid Kit including things that make her laugh or bring a smile to her face
Start a “smiles-to-go” jar filled with humorous quotes and anecdotes that clients can take when they arrive or leave your office

Develop Your Own Sense of Humor

Humor can be powerful medicine but only if it is a regular part of one’s life.

In order to share the lighter side of life with others, it helps if you actively seek out things that make you laugh.

References:

Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor

Godfrey, J.R. (2004). Toward optimal health: The experts discuss therapeutic humor. Journal of Women’s Health, 13, 474-479.

Goldin, E. & Bordan, B. (1999). The use of humor in counseling: The laughing cure. Journal of Counseling & Development, 77, 405-410.

Goldin, E., Bordan, B., Araoz, D.L., Gladding, S.T., Kaplan, D., Krumboltz, J. & Lazarus, A. (2006). Humor in counseling: Leader perspectives. Journal of Counseling & Development, 84, 397-404.

McGuire, P. (1999). More psychologists are finding that discrete uses of humor promote healing in their patients. APA Monitor, 30 (3).

Reynes, R.L. & Allen, A. (1987). Humor in psychotherapy: A view. American Journal of Psychotherapy, 61, 260-270.

Source:

Entire article, including images were taken from:

http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/laura-lc-johnson/200906252693

Power of Touch in the Workplace

2011-09-23T09:31:00.002-04:00

Study Confirms Laughter is Best Medicine

2011-09-15T08:04:00.000-04:00

Source: Philippine Daily Inquirer

Paris—In pain? A good laugh with friends will help you deal with it courtesy of “feel-good” chemicals that flood the brain, according to a British study released on Wednesday.

Researchers conducted lab experiments in which volunteers watched either comedy clips from “Mr. Bean” or “Friends,” or nonhumorous items such as golf or wildlife programs, while their resistance to mild pain was monitored.

Another test was carried out at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, where the volunteers watched either a stand-up comedy show or a theatrical drama.

The pain came from a deep-frozen wine-cooler sleeve slipped over a forearm, an ever tightening blood pressure cuff, or an excruciating ski exercise.

For the Fringe Festival, the volunteers were asked to do a tough exercise. They leaned against the wall with their legs at right angles, as if sitting on a straight-backed chair, before and immediately after the performance, to see if laughter had helped with the pain.

Just 15 minutes of laughter increased the level of pain tolerance by around 10 percent, the study found.

In the lab experiments, the neutral, nonfunny programming had no pain-alleviating effect at all. Nor did watching drama at the Fringe Festival.

But the study notes two important distinctions.

The only laughter that worked was relaxed, unforced laughter that creases the eyes, as opposed to a polite titter. And this kind of belly laugh is far likelier to happen when you are with others, rather than alone.

Endorphins

“Very little research has been done into why we laugh and what role it plays in society,” said Robin Dunbar, head of the Institute of Social and Cultural Anthropology at the University of Oxford.

“Using microphones, we were able to record each of the participants and found that in a comedy show, they laughed for about a third of the time, and their pain tolerance rose as a consequence,” he added.

The protection apparently comes from endorphins, a complex chemical that helps to transmit messages between neurons but also dulls signals of physical pain and psychological stress.

Endorphins are the famous product of physical exercise—they help create the “buzz” that comes from running, swimming, rowing, yoga and so on.

In laughter, the release comes from an involuntary, repeated muscular exertion that comes from exhaling without drawing a breath, the scientists believe. The exertion leaves us exhausted and thereby triggers the endorphins.

Great apes are also believed to be able to laugh but, unlike humans, they breathe in as well as out when they do so.

The investigators believe the experiments help to understand the physiological and social mechanism of how laughter is generated.

The group seems vital in unleashing the right kind of endorphin-making laughter, they contend.

Human evolution

“Laughter is very weird stuff, actually,” Dunbar said. “That’s why we got interested in it.”

And the study findings, published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, fit well with a growing sense that laughter contributes to group bonding and may have been important in the evolution of highly social humans.

Dunbar suggests that social laughter, relaxed and contagious, is “grooming at a distance”—an activity that fosters closeness in a group the way one-on-one grooming, patting and delousing promote and maintain bonds between individual primates of all sorts.

The study findings provided a partial answer to the ageless conundrum of whether we laugh because we feel giddy or feel giddy because we laugh, Dunbar said.

“The causal sequence is laughter triggers endorphin activation,” he said. What triggers laughter is a question that leads into a different labyrinth.

Dunbar thinks laughter may have been favored by evolution because it helped bring human groups together, the way other activities like dancing and singing do.

Those activities also produce endorphins, and physical activity is important in them as well, Dunbar said.

“Laughter is an early mechanism to bond social groups,” he said. “Primates use it.”

‘Pant, pant’

Indeed, apes are known to laugh, although in a different way than humans: They pant.

“Panting is the sound of rough-and-tumble play,” said Robert R. Provine, a neuroscientist at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, and the author of “Laughter: A Scientific Investigation.”

It becomes a “ritualization” of the sound of play. And in the course of the evolution of human beings, Provine said, “pant, pant becomes ha, ha.”

Provine said he thought the study was “a significant contribution” to a field of study that dates back 2,000 years or so.

It has not always focused on the benefits of laughter. Both Plato and Aristotle, Provine said, were concerned with the power of laughter to undermine authority. And he noted that the ancients were very aware that laughter could accompany raping and pillaging as well as a comic tale told by the hearth.

Dunbar, however, was concerned with relaxed, contagious social laughter, not the tyrant’s cackle or the “polite titter” of awkward conversation.

He said a classic example would be the dinner at which everyone else speaks a different language and someone makes an apparently hilarious but incomprehensible comment.

Reports from AFP and New York Times News Service

Complete stories on our Digital Edition newsstand for tablets, netbooks and mobile phones; 14-issue free trial. About to step out? Get breaking alerts on your mobile.phone. Text ON INQ BREAKING to 4467, for Globe, Smart and Sun subscribers in the Philippines.

Images taken from:

http://ph.cdn.photos.upi.com/sv/emb/UPI-86331316017738/dcde6af9b5e2650e6a63c31728291a67/Laughter-is-the-best-medicine-it-reduces-pain.jpg

http://www.wethechange.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/peoplelaughing.jpg

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_bSwumLDjEGU/Ss6-qxv4StI/AAAAAAAAAP4/Qmk0RDiSB5M/s320/laughing+people.jpg

Frequently Asked Questions About Hilot

2011-09-11T08:34:00.000-04:00

1. How old is Hilot and where did it originate from? Describe Hilot and what it entails?

Hilot has been a Filipino Traditional Healing modality since pre-written history of the Philippines. It is considered to be in existence for more than a thousand years. While there are many forms of indigenous therapeutic massage (generically known as hilot sa pilay) in each of the ethnolinguistic groups in the Philippines, an eclectic mix of massage techniques from these language/cultural areas has been developed now to be known as "The Filipino Hilot".
"The Filipino Hilot" can be explained first by the world views of the Filipino Traditional Healers. (see attached article by J.Z. Galvez Tan entitled: The Merging of Filipino Traditional Healing with Asian/Filipino Spa and Wellness). The world views are the context in which the massage healing process takes its positive effects and outcome on the human body and his/her environment. Humankind and the environment are interrelated and interconnected through energy channels in the universe and in the human body. Thus the focus of the Hilot is not just body (or muscle or tissue manipulation) by hand, but also the harnessing of bio-energies from the following: the universe (cosmic, spiritual, ethereal), the environment (earth, wind, fire and water), botanicals (leaves, flowers, aromatic oils) and the healers themselves. The Filipino Healer or Hilot Massage Therapist becomes the medium for harnessing all these bio-energies to bring about balance, harmony, health and wellness.

A distinctive feature of Hilot compared to other forms of massage therapy in the world is the use of warm strips of banana leaves minimally laced with extra virgin coconut oil, applied on body areas as prologue and epilogue of the massage. The banana leaves are naturally ionized and act on the molecular and bio-energy as manifested on the skin and body parts to determine which areas need an infusion of massage. Banana leaves also provide astringent and cleansing effect to the body.

2. How popular is it in the Philippines? Which parts of the Philippines is it widely practiced in?

The Hilot is the most popular Traditional Healing Practice in the Philippines. It is happening everyday in all the 42,000 villages of the country. There are more than a hundred thousand Traditional Massage Therapists (Hilot sa Pilay) in the country who are tasked to perform a healing massage several times a day.

3. Did it ever need to be revived as an ancient art of healing?

Not at all. It has always been there. Although there is a generic Hilot, the various ethnolinguistic groups practice it in their own style. It is only now that The Hilot is being introduced as a distinct modality of Asian therapeutic massage. The Filipino Hilot is now systematized as an eclectic mix of the various Hilot styles practiced for centuries in the country.

4. Are there training schools for Hilot? If there are how long is the training and what does it center on?

The Hilot is mainly learned by apprenticeship with an established healer (Hilot sa Pilay) in all villages in the country. In the last 25 years there have been schools of therapeutic massage that provides certificate training ranging from a minimum of two weeks to one month. The therapeutic massage schools give training in other forms of massage therapy like refloxology, naturopathic massage, shiatsu, tuina, acupressure, Thai massage and Swedish massage. However, recently, the Department of Tourism has taken steps to train the different DOT accredited spas in hilot and other forms of traditional Filipin healing like the dagdagay foot massage. Typically, a hilot training consists of 32 training hours with 5 follow up practicum sessions.

5. Is it similar or derived from any other Asian form of healing and massage?

Tracing the history of Filipino Traditional Healing, the Hilot can de defined as indigenously Filipino but with traces of influence from China, India and Persia plus because of colonialization, elements of European and North American medicine may also be appreciated. However the degree of influence from each country has not been fully established because no formal studies has been done except for one masteral thesis in nursing done in 1979 where the Hilot was compared to Traditional Chinese Medicine especially the meridians and acupuncture points. The study showed a close correlation of massage points and symptomatic applications between the Hilot and Acupuncture/Acupressure.

6. Do therapists use herbs or oils when administering hilot?

Yes, this is a major feature of all varieties of Hilot in the Philippines. The most popular is oil used in coconut oil. At times the coconut oil is already infused with a variety of herbs. A number of selected herbs are also used, mainly classified as "hot" herbs to balance the cold humours that result in energy blocks around muscles and body tissues.

7. Is it widely available in most spas or retreat centres?

A good number of Philippine spas have introduced the Hilot already, especially the Spas that provide a mixture of European and Asian therapeutic massage therapies. The Hilot is now being merged in such Spas.

Article taken from:

http://philwell.org/frequently_asked_questions_about_hilot.html

Images taken from:

http://www.ssturdevantphotography.com/GTRLarge-New/Massage.jpg

http://en.wikipilipinas.org/images/thumb/a/a5/Hilot2.jpg/180px-Hilot2.jpg

Hilot Filipino Massage for Healing

2011-09-04T08:50:00.001-04:00

Hilot is form of Filipino massage that is used in traditional Filipino medicine. This healing art is still practiced in rural areas in the Philippines today. For many rural people it is their only source of medical care.

While massage is a major part of this healing art, practitioners do everything from setting bones to delivering babies. They are also herbalist.

Like acupressure, shiatsu and Ayervedic medicine, this form of traditional medicine relies on principles of energy both to diagnose and treat illness. A good practitioner is said to be able to tell what's wrong with you by looking at you and sensing your energy.

There are four elements that make up the body.

Fire = the body's electrical impulses
water = the blood
earth = the flesh and bones
air = the breath

If any of these elements are out of balance, illness results. Filipino Massage is used to balance the elements of the body. Massage is believed to manipulate the body's electrical current allowing the body to heal itself.

The worldwide success of Thai massage, has inspired the Filipino government to promote hilot. Practitioners now work at five-star hotels in the Philippines. You can even find practitioners giving Filipino massage in some spas in the West.
It is a deep tissue massage combined with some energy work. One thing that sets it apart from other massages is that the therapist applies warm banana leaves covered with coconut oil to you before starting the massage. Banana leaves have antiseptic qualities. The leaves also help the therapist detect imbalances in your body. This allows the therapist determine how to treat you.

This type of massage is very individualized. There is no set pattern to the work. The therapist massages you were needed according to your imbalances.

Article taken from:

http://www.massage-therapy-benefits.net/hilot.html#axzz1WWsEtRcH

Images taken from:

http://salamat.ph/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Shui-Hilot-Healing-Spa-2-300x237.jpg

http://www.abs-cbnglobal.com/Portals/2/images/stories/052809-massage.jpg

Last Dance

2011-08-21T09:42:00.001-04:00

The picture below was one among the three (3) winners of Philippine Daily Inquirer's Father's Day Photo Contest

Story behind the picture

It was Joanna League’s wedding and she was on the dance floor with the first man she had ever loved Jose Ramon Pimentel Jr., her father. The picture topped those picked out by photographers as their choice.

“Dad and I danced – more like swayed, because we were both crying non-stop, to the song ‘I Loved You First’. Dad and I had been crying from the moment I walked down the aisle,” she recalled.

It was not only memorable because it was on her wedding but also because it had been, literally, the last dance she had with him.

Joanna said she saw the photo contest as an “opportunity to share and to inspire.”

“Our last dance had literally been our very last dance, which makes it extra special for me,” said Joanna, remembering her father as a man who “had been a father to all and was loved by many.”

Her father died 10 months after that day.

The text and picture above where taken from
http://globalnation.inquirer.net/7767/winners-of-inquirer-net-father%E2%80%99s-day-photo-contest-relive-special-moments-with-dad

You may also visit the above link for Philippine Daily Inquirer's complete article on Father's Day photo contest winners

Mean Moms

2011-08-14T04:57:00.002-04:00

Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:
I loved you enough to ask where you were going,
with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for
two hours while you cleaned your room,
a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children
must learn that their parents aren't perfect..

I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart..

But most of all, I loved you enough to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all..
I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean?

I know mine was.
We had the meanest mother in the whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast,
we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch,
we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times.
You'd think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were
and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it,
but she had the nerve to break
the Child Labor Laws by making us work.

We had to wash the dishes, make the beds,
learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,
empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night
thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time we were teenagers,
she could read our minds
and had eyes in the back of her head.
Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk
the horn when they drove up
They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date
when they were 12 or 13,
we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out
on lots of things other kids experienced.

None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MEAN MOTHERS YOU KNOW.
(And Their Kids)

Images taken from the following websites:

http://drop.ndtv.com/albums/HEALTH/mothers_day/pic4.jpg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aDL05_OgMiQ/TclJctHbPSI/AAAAAAAAAOc/XfFROG723uY/s1600/eb-kids-cleaning-chores-420-420x0.jpg

http://sp.life123.com/bm.pix/curfew2.s600x600.jpg

http://www.riverchaseteens.org/images/stories/teenage-friends.jpg

http://www.anitazvonar.com/images/portraits/BorsellinoFamily2.jpg

You Can Shine

2011-07-29T08:03:00.001-04:00

Cuddling, Caressing More Important for Men: Study

2011-07-19T08:57:00.002-04:00

July 14, 2011, 12:37pm

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Contrary to conventional wisdom, cuddling and caressing are more important to men than women in a long-term relationship, according to a new international study.

Researchers, who studied responses from adults in the United States, Brazil, Germany, Japan and Spain, also discovered that men were more likely to be happy in their relationship and that frequent kissing or cuddling was an accurate predictor of happiness for men.

"I was a little surprised," said Julia Heiman, the director of Indiana University's Kinsey Institute, which conducted the study that will be published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior journal.

"Some of the stereotypes we have are borne out of what we feel comfortable believing -- that men prefer sex, or women prefer intimacy over sex, for example," she added.

The researchers examined more than 1,000 couples aged 40 to 70 from the five countries who had been together for an average of 25 years.

Unlike men, women were happier as time went on, according to the findings. If they had been with their partner less than 15 years they were also less likely to be sexually satisfied but that percentage rose significantly after the 15-year mark.

"Possibly, women become more satisfied over time because their expectations change, or life changes with the children grown," Heiman said. "On the other hand, those who weren't so sexually happy might not be married so long."

Japanese men and women were significantly happier in their relationships than Americans, who were more content than Brazilians and Spaniards.

Japanese men in particular were more than twice as sexually satisfied in their relationships than other nationalities.

"I honestly don't know why this is," Heiman said in an interview. "Japanese couples may interpret the survey questions slightly different. Maybe Americans interpret this in a much more critical way."

Japanese and Brazilian women were also more likely than American women to be happy with their sex lives.

"Americans are pretty notoriously not satisfied with things," Heiman said. "The United States is certainly not the happiest country when it comes to comparing it to others."

Heiman said that the data may reflect the dynamics of a long-term relationship.

"Maybe it's about durability. A major factor is how long you've been together. What you value as important may mean a lot more after the near-term."

Article taken from:

http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/326748/cuddling-caressing-more-important-men-study

Images taken from:

http://happilymarriedafter.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/happy-couple3.jpg

http://www.truemanhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/couple_laughing_on_sofa.jpg

What Kind of Touching is Allowed in Thailand?

2011-07-11T08:04:00.002-04:00

Once I was traveling in Mexico, and I met a girl from Spain. Like me, she was backpacking around the country and we spent a few days hiking and sightseeing together. Then we both continued on our separate ways. When we said our good byes, she kissed me on the cheeks, and I hugged her. Both of us were a little surprised and uncomfortable.

In those days I did not know that kissing on the cheeks is a normal way of greeting in several European countries. And she did not know that hugging is quite a normal exchange among friends in the US. However in the US we do not kiss on the cheeks when we greet someone and in Spain people don’t hug casual friends. So I was a little surprised by her kiss and she was surprised by my hug.

Now I live in Thailand, and touching is an interesting subject here. Girls often walk around hand in hand, and men sometimes put their arm around the shoulder of an another man in a casual way. In social gatherings Thais often have body contact, but only in a casual way.

In America it would be considered quite strange to see two women walking around holding hands, or a man with an arm around the shoulder of another. In social settings we generally avoid body contact. Two touches are ok: hand shakes and sometimes a hug. Hugs can be a quick little slap on the back or can be really heartfelt among friends or in a situation where we console someone who is sad or grieving.

But in Thailand the casual touching does not include hugs. Actually hugging is not done here and is considered very inappropriate. Thais don’t hug each other at all and foreigners who hug in public draw disapproving looks. Men and women do not hold hands in public and kissing in public is seen as strange or even offensive. The casual touch is ok, more so than in the US, but any meaningful, heartfelt way of touching is not ok. Also touching of someone’s head is seen as very inappropriate.

Until western habits gained a foothold in Thailand, kissing amongst lovers did not exist either. Instead Thais smelled each other’s cheeks. Western-style handshakes are not appropriate either. Instead, Thais put the palms of their hands together and bow slightly, depending on their social status.

One way of touching is quite common in Thailand, and that is Thai massage. In the professional massage setting touch is enjoyed and appreciated. It is also quite common to see women give each other a little neck and shoulder massage during the work day. Men, however, don’t do that.

Like in many countries, massage is sometimes used as a come-on for sexual services, but most massage shops are clean and legitimate.

Keep in mind that touching habits in Thailand are quite different from our western ways. Some Thais who have spent a lot of time in the west are more comfortable with hand shakes or even a hug, but in general the best advice is to avoid touching Thais in any way. If you want to be touched here, treat yourself to a Thai massage or oil massage which is available everywhere for just a few dollars per hour. This is one of the great luxuries of living in Thailand.

Article taken from:

http://shamakern.com/what-kind-of-touching-is-allowed-in-thailand/

Images taken from:

http://www.studyabroaddomain.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Thailand.jpg

http://photos.travellerspoint.com/170974/IMG_3867-41.jpg

Bad Tagalog Translation of English Movie Titles

2011-07-05T09:09:00.000-04:00

1. Black Hawk Down
Ibong Maitim sa Ibaba

2. Dead Man's Chest
Dodo ng Patay

3. I Know What You Did Last Summer
Uyy... Aminin!

4. Love, Actually
Sa Totoo Lang, Pag-Ibig

5. Million Dollar Baby
50 Million Pisong Sanggol (it depends on the exchange rate of the country)

6. The Blair Witch Project

Ang Proyekto ng Bruhang si Blair

7. Mary Poppins

Si Mariang May Putok

8. Snakes on a Plane

Nag-Ahasan Sa Ere

9. The Postman Always Rings Twice

Ang Kartero Kapag Dumutdot Laging Dalawang Beses

10. Sum of All Fears

Takot Mo, Takot Ko, Takot Nating Lahat

11. Swordfish

Talakitok

12. Pretty Woman

Ganda ng Lola Mo

13. Robin Hood, Men in Tights

Si Robin Hood at ang mga Felix Bakat

14. 4 Weddings in a Funeral

Kahit 4 na Beses ka Pang Magpakasal, Mamamatay ka rin

15. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Ako, Ikaw, Kayong Lahat

16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Adik si Harry, Tumira ng Shabu

17. Click

Isang Pindot ka Lang

18. Brokeback Mountain

May Nawasak sa Likod ng Bundok ng Tralala / Bumigay sa Bundok

19. The Day of the Death

Ayaw Tumayo (ng mga Patay)

20. Waterworld

Basang-Basa

21. There's Something About Mary

May Kwan sa Ano ni Maria

22. Employee of the Month

Ang Sipsip

23. Resident Evil

Ang Biyenan

24. Kill Bill

Kilitiin sa Bilbil

25. The Grudge

Lintik Lang ang Walang Ganti

26. Nightmare Before Christmas

Binangungot sa Noche Buena

27. Annie Hall

Ang Butas ni Annie

28. Never Been Kissed

Pangit Kasi

29. Gone in 60 Seconds

1 Round, Tulog

30. The Fast and the Furious

Ang Bitin, Galit

31. Too Fast, Too Furious

Kapag Sobrang Bitin, Sobrang Galit

32. Dude, Where's My Car

Dong, Anong Level Ulit Tayo Nag-Park?

33. Beauty and the Beast

Ang Asawa ko at ang Nanay Nya

34. The Lord of the Rings
Ang Alahero

Mealtime…The Most Important Family Time of the Day

2011-06-22T08:34:00.002-04:00

By Rachel Allison

We always assume that families eating together would help strengthen family ties and raise better-adjusted kids, but specific studies have been done over the years that prove our assumptions by highlighting the benefits of time spent together at the dinner table.

Research by CASA (The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse) and other organizations has shown that teens that eat frequent family dinners are less likely than other teens to smoke, drink, use illegal drugs, have sex at young ages, get into fights or be suspended from school. And these results hold true regardless of a teen’s sex, family structure or socioeconomic level.
In a research project conducted by Dr. Blake Bowden of Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Center, 527 teenagers were studied to determine what family and lifestyle characteristics were related to good mental health and adjustment. Dr. Bowden and his colleagues found that kids who ate dinner with their families at least five times per week (at home or in a fast food restaurant) were the least likely to take drugs, feel depressed or get into trouble with the law. In addition, these young people were more likely to do well in school and to have a supportive circle of friends.
A survey conducted by the University of Chicago revealed that a majority of graduate students, when asked where they got most of their ideas about morality and religion, responded “through conversation with the family at meal times.”
One Harvard University study links children’s literacy and school success to explanatory talk at the dinner table—for instance, discussions of presidential politics or the days’ news. Not only does that expand a child’s world but it also helps a child learn to handle differences of opinion, negotiate ways to get into a conversation, hear new vocabulary words, and predict and anticipate parents’ reactions.
A 1996 study done by Dr. Catherine Snow, a professor of education at Harvard’s Graduate School of Education, revealed similar results. By following sixty-five families over an eight-year period, it was determined that dinnertime was of more value to child development than playtime, school and story time. Clearly, there is power in family fellowship.
A study several years ago found that the most common trait of high school National Merit Scholars was that they grew up eating dinner together as a family.
Research conducted by Dr .Stacey Tantleff-Dunn and Dr. Michael E. Dunn on students entering their freshman year of college found that eating meals together as a family corresponded to lower rates of depression, lower levels of alcohol use, lower levels of marijuana use, lower levels of cigarette use, lower levels of illicit drug use, higher self-esteem, better grades, and lower levels of suspension and detention.

There are several immediate benefits that can result from sitting down to dinner with your children. The first, and most obvious, is increased communication. Nothing fosters a sense of belonging, love and self-esteem like family communication.

Eating dinner with your children is certainly not a guarantee that your kids will be National Merit Scholars, and sail through life with no problems, but it does seem like the experts are all in agreement - it’s a fabulous start.

Article taken from:

http://unitedfamiliesinternational.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/mealtime%E2%80%A6the-most-important-family-time-of-the-day/

Images taken from:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8SbYNufmwAk/TE2PfoGwxzI/AAAAAAAAADw/U8HH-UraBkY/s1600/family%20eating%20at%20dinner%20table.jpg

http://sscatering.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/family-dinner-kids-de.jpg

Happy Father's Day!

2011-06-15T07:47:00.000-04:00

Children Learn What They Live

2011-06-12T08:24:00.000-04:00

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again…

2011-06-09T08:37:00.002-04:00

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging and less tugging.
– Diane Loomans, from “If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again”

Article taken from:

http://unitedfamiliesinternational.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/if-i-had-my-child-to-raise-over-again/

Image taken from:

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/shalamov/shalamov0909/shalamov090900119/5559288-happy-mother-and-two-kids-spending-time-outdoors-at-sunny-autumn-day.jpg

Dacher Keltner on Touch

2011-06-02T09:32:00.001-04:00

Deliverance

2011-05-22T10:32:00.002-04:00

By Conrado de Quiros

Philippine Daily Inquirer

First Posted 22:32:00 04/20/2011

THE STORY went the rounds of the social media last week. I thought someone would come out and say the story was fiction, a parable invented to suit the times and soothe the soul and became flesh and blood from the retelling. Journalism and age have made me a little wary of things that are too good to be true. But as it turns out, this is one too good to be true that happens to be true.

The story was in the form of a letter a Vietnamese immigrant in Japan sent his friend back home. The Vietnamese, Ha Minh Thanh, worked as a cop in Fukushima, the epicenter of the tsunami that hit Japan in the wake of the powerful earthquake. The depth of devastation was a sight to behold, or cringe from. “When I close my eyes,” Ha said, “I see dead bodies. When I open my eyes, I also see dead bodies.”

But amid the desolation, he saw this:

“Last night, I was sent to a little grammar school to help a charity organization distribute food to the refugees. It was a long line that snaked this way and that and I saw a little boy around 9 years old. He was wearing a T-shirt and a pair of shorts.

“It was getting very cold and the boy was at the very end of the line. I was worried that by the time his turn came there wouldn’t be any food left. So I spoke to him. He said he was at school when the earthquake happened. His father worked nearby and was driving to the school. The boy was on the third floor balcony when he saw the tsunami sweep his father’s car away.

“He said his house is right by the beach and that his mother and little sister probably didn’t make it. He turned his head and wiped his tears when I asked about his relatives.

“The boy was shivering so I took off my police jacket and put it on him. That’s when my bag of food ration fell out. I picked it up and gave it to him. ‘When it comes to your turn, they might run out of food. So here’s my portion. I already ate. Why don’t you eat it?’

“The boy took my food and bowed. I thought he would eat it right away, but he didn’t. He took the bag of food, went up to where the line ended and put it where all the food was waiting to be distributed.

“I was shocked. I asked him why he didn’t eat it and instead added it to the food pile. He answered: ‘Because I see a lot more people hungrier than I am. If I put it there, then they will distribute the food equally.’

“When I heard that I turned away so that people wouldn’t see me cry.

“A society that can produce a 9-year-old who understands the concept of sacrifice for the greater good must be a great society, a great people.”

What makes this observation more precious is that a Vietnamese has made it. Vietnam too was a flattened country not too long ago, its forests scorched by napalm and its plains littered by the bodies of the dead. I remember a Vietnamese telling me once that he did not know of any Vietnamese family that hadn’t lost a loved one in the War. It is a people that understand the concept of sacrifice for the greater good. It is a great society, it is a great people. For someone who has gone through that to marvel at the grandness of spirit shown by the 9-year-old Japanese boy, it takes the breath away.

You realize that what makes countries like Japan and Vietnam tower over us is not the might of their technology or military, it is the strength of their spirit.

Some of the comments in my e-mail compared this with the Jan-Jan affair, marveling at the chasm between the way Japanese raised their kids and the way we did. They had a point. You have to wonder what kind of values we are instilling in our kids with Willie Revillame to guide them. A point made all the more urgent by TV 5 flying to his aid: While countries like Japan are telling their kids that anything less than the loftiest heights is not enough, we are telling our kids that anything more than the absolute pits will do.

I was already awed when the “Faceless 50” or “Nameless 50” volunteered to stay behind at the nuclear plants, braving levels of radiation five times what was considered safe for workers in the United States, to stave off a nuclear holocaust that would devastate neighboring places. The number of the faceless or nameless swiftly rose to the hundreds. This is behavior we are not likely to see here. And yet the Japanese do it so spontaneously, reflexively, instinctively. You truly have to wonder at the way they were brought up and the way we were.

The Japanese—and Vietnamese—are not Christians, yet they show more Christian charity than we do. Certainly, they show a capacity for self-sacrifice more than we do. Forget even that, they show a capacity to see beyond themselves, or a capacity to see others, more than we do. Which is what the Cross is supposed to represent.

Our own version of Christianity has only taught us selfishness. The very purpose of living an upright life, or a facsimile thereof—there are always the sacraments to wipe off sin—is to save ourselves, or our souls from the burning fires of hell. On the occasions we are compelled to, we part with land, with money, with children (for the priesthood) to buy a berth in heaven—but never up to the point that it becomes painful or inconvenient. We do not do things for others or sacrifice for others (other than family) simply because it is the right thing to do, because it is the only thing to do. Because, despite our desolation, there are others more desolate. Because, despite our loss, there are others who lost more. Because, despite our hunger, there are others hungrier.

A thing to ponder over the next few days. You look at the 9-year-old Japanese boy who gave despite having lost everything, you have to ask yourself who is more likely to rise again, he or us. You have to ask yourself who is likely to be saved, he or us.

In this life or the next.

Article taken from:

http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/columns/view/20110420-332334/Deliverance

What I Learn About Happiness in the Philippines

2011-05-11T10:29:00.002-04:00

Lesson Learnt before Leaving

As I have already mentioned it in my other hubs, I came to study in the Philippines in the year in 2007. Prior to my arrival, I had collected some information about the Philippines as much as I could. Luckily, I had three Pilipino ladies who were English trainers in my city called Mandalay in Burma. So I got a chance to befriend and ask about the Philippines. And also I had a colleague who had studied in the Philippines and came back. They were so helpful to get to know more about of the country.

I had completed my degree in History at my undergraduate level, but the courses that I took particularly on the world history subjects did not help me enough to be familiarized with the current settings in the country. And the worst, in those times at College in Burma, we were not taught to become a qualified student but to just pass the exam and get the degree. Mmmm!! So I could say that all I got the knowledge about the Philippines during my college years were just about the Ninoy Aquino (assassinated) the father of the new President of the Republic of the Philippines. And one more thing that I know was Philippines is an agricultural country so much so that some Burmese Government employees were sent to learn their methodology. Burma was blessed in terms of agricultural methodologies by both Israel and Philippines.

And I browsed websites that would help me to know more about about the Philippines. The school, I should say the Seminary that I would be attending also helped me a lot particularly in the field of living costs.

But when I actually landed in the Philippines there were still much more to know and learn. All I had known before were just an introduction to the reality. I did not have any surprises in my mind about the people and the appearance since we both have the same skin and color. However, after living for a few months, I discovered a lot of differences in values and mannerism indeed. It took me around 2-3 months to adjust. Eventually I was able to adjust and now I am enjoying the life in Philippines putting aside all the barriers.

Here are things that I observed after having lived in the Philippines for almost four years now. I write and put them together just for the sake of information to those who would like to live or visit in the Philippines some day or soon. I have no intention to devalue the life and its reality about the country.

Are happy People Contented?

Poverty has stricken all through the south East Asia countries especially in this globalization age when the time comes Asia has to compete with the West in terms of economic, though no nation can be labeled as poor at its originality. And the Philippines is also with no exception.

In 2009, I read on yahoo Philippines news that said, according to the research done by Pulse Asia, Filipinos are the happiest people in the world and yet the most discontented.

The first impression that I gained from the people in the Philippines during my early months of stay is that they always smile. Although sometimes I would doubt whether their smile is real or not, it is good to see a smiling people than angry faced people. Coming from a Military ruled country, without conscience, I used to get serious as displayed on my face. So, my Filipino classmates would remind me to smile every time my face becomes so intense. I think that is a good practice.

If you watch TV shows in the Philippines, you will automatically observe that the shows are full of fun, games, laughter and so on.

But on the other hand, I would like to think about the deeper meaning of “the happiness and contentment.” Is happiness an object or subject?

Philippines had been colonized by the Spain for more than 300 years. It is more than three centuries. No wonder, if the Filipinos would have changed their philosophy of life in those three centuries long of Spaniard colonization. I am not sure how much they suffered as a Filipinos being under the Spaniard but I believe that psychologically speaking they have lost the original Filipino in that period.

So now in the community, the life value has become to be happy and enjoy life. I have heard so many times from my fellow Filipinos saying so. In the media, the TV hosts have become a mean to make people happy and enjoy life. But the question is how long that happiness will remain in one’s life.

And I think it has to do with the emotional side a person in relation to what is meant by saying happiness. One may be happy and contented with just having a day need whereas another person with owning a house and lot plus savings account with the Bank.

But I have learnt a lot of the Filipinos in terms of life. “You are becoming a real human,” said my closest friend to me last year. I believe that is also true. Life is not all about craving something all the time.

Article taken from:

http://hubpages.com/hub/WHAT-I-LEARN-ABOUT-HAPPINESS-IN-THE-PHILIPPINES

Images taken from:

http://www.mapcruzin.com/free-maps-thematic/philippines_pop_1973.jpg

http://www.jacobimages.com/gallery/d/2941-7/boy-smile-face

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1195/1395016470_ed81c91e4a.jpg

Philippines and Happines: Family, Health, Religion Make Filipinos Most Happy

2011-05-01T08:50:00.003-04:00

11 October, 2007

For the people of the Philippines, family, health, and religion are the three most important sources of happiness. Sex ranks among the least important factors.

A study, conducted by the National Statistical Coordination Board (NSCB), shows that Filipinos ranked family as the most important source of happiness, giving it a score of 9.45 on a scale of 1 to 10. Health came next, with a score of 8.95, while religion ranked third with 8.59.

Other important sources of happiness include friends (8.57), financial security (8.3), education (8.25), love life (8.2), and work (7.94).

According to the NSCB, it was “quite surprising” that sex – presented independently of love life – was not an important source of happiness, and that at 14th place, it was ranked among the five least important sources, with a score of 6.39.

In a statement, the NSCB said the survey showed that politics was the least important source of happiness, with a score of 5.84. Other unimportant domains of happiness are cultural activities (5.88), community and volunteer work (6.24), and government (6.53).

In terms of level of happiness, the study by the NSCB also found that Filipinos were happy with their family life, with a happiness index rating of 88.5%. They were also happy with their friends (83.6%), religion (79.8%) and love life (79.4%).

While sex life did not rank as an important source of happiness, respondents gave it a happiness index rating of 72.6%, which means that they were happier with sex than they were with work (71%), leisure and sports (70%), financial security (68.8%), and cultural activities (66.6%).

The study also found that people were happier “with domains that are within their control than those not within their control like politics” and that 6 out of 10 respondents thought that progress was synonymous with happiness.

The study revealed that women were happier than men, and that happiness increased with income.

The study by the National Statistical Coordination Board was based on a non-random poll of 167 respondents conducted during the National Convention on Statistics held in the beginning of October 2007.

Non-random sampling meant that the Board only gave out the questionnaires to those who wanted to answer it during the convention without a specific target group in mind, according to Jessamyn Encarnacion of the NSCB’s Social Statistics Office and co-author of the paper titled Measuring Progress of Philippine Society: Gross National Product or Gross National Happiness.

The factors that the questionnaire listed were: family, friends, religion, love life, health, education, sex life, work, leisure and sports, community and volunteer work, technological know-how, income and financial security, cultural activities, environment, economy, government, and politics.

The NSCB has conducted two pilot tests of the questionnaire, which was formulated in relation to a proposed Philippine Happiness Index.

The Philippines comes in the “middle-range” of the World Happiness Index, with a rating of 6.4, alongside India (6.2), Iran, (6.0), Poland (5.9), and South Korea (5.8.)

Denmark topped the World Happiness Index (which lists 95 countries), with a rating of 8.2.

Article Taken From:

http://www.dancewithshadows.com/society/filipino-happiness.asp

Images Taken From:

http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/dailypix/2006/Jun/21/FPI606210303V2_b.jpg

http://www.the-intimate-couple.com/images/sexual_intimacy.jpg

http://amysrobot.com/files/filipino.jpg

How Lovely is Your Dwelling Place

2011-04-11T02:15:00.000-04:00

PINOYS A LOT HAPPY: Happiness, The Filipino and the Foreigner

2011-04-09T13:17:00.002-04:00

Dear friends and guests.

There is an article: "Why Filipinos Are Happy," at Why Filipinos are Happy. It is good. But it does not tell the whole story, at least from the standpoint of the international scientific community. The part of the site above, the small part below, my ramble, does. But the article below is not written about Filipinos. It is written about people generally. It is about brain development. Yet it is a key to understanding Filipino-foreigner differences.

What does this mean to you as a foreigner, expat or potential expat in this country? If you interact with the local people, it means a lot. You will be interacting with happy people. It will rub off on you. "Rub off on you," is an interesting choice of word here. You will understand after you read what is written below. Because it is about *touching,* massage, physical contact, so I guess rubbing too.

We talk about successful people, our "developed" "first world" counties, and almost exclusively, in terms of education, wealth and employment position. But we know some who are educated, wealthy, and hold high positions are unhappy people. So can we really say education, wealth, and position are the right tools to use to measure success? We all want to be happy. That is our main goal. You hear even the most successful people say, "All I want it so be happy." They feel that maybe more money will make them a happy person, a better job, another degree, another person, mate, friend, a higher position, one that brings more respect. But in recent years, scientists and philosophers tend to agree, happiness comes from within. If so, how does it get there?

A lot of it has to do with self concept, something that starts developing very early in life. This self concept is not solely but critically influenced by the amount of touching a child gets. Touching may be the paramount key, certainly in early development, to knowing you are here, knowing you are an organism, one of value, importance and worth.

In developed countries, we don't get much touching as children. We as children, even as babies, sleep in rooms alone. We cry about it but can't do much more. It is not good for us, so the scientist say. Here in the Philippines, children are "gifts from God." And because of the communal life orientation, they belong to everyone. Here people will touch your children, lovingly. Parents sleep with their children for a long time, some time until the children reach puberty. (Recently, I mentioned a woman friend asking me if I felt she and her husband should get their boy out of their bed because he is ten years old. I asked what did she think. She said she though it was time to move him but didn't want to put him in another room, alone. I suggested she just put him in another bed in the same room. She did and she and her husband, and the boy were happy with that solution.) Children are held even massaged.

I was in Bolanao, Pangasinan in the early 1990's in a restaurant for breakfast. It was a popular, not an expensive place, one of the few in town. In one part, there was a place where women were massaging babies for what ever fee the mother could afford. I never saw such a thing. The babies seemed to like it even though it looked too rough for me. They squirmed as though they may be in pain. I found this is a common practice, at least in that area of the Philippines. And now in the "developed" counties, they are catching on. They are starting baby massage classes for parents. Here, in the Philippines, people are not afraid to touch. In our developed countries, where there are many emotionally unstable and depressed people, folks keep their distance, a "respectful," distance. And you don't touch a person of higher status, no way. "Wealthy successful" Japan is a place where touching is almost prohibited. It's suicide rate per 100,000 is many times higher than the Philippines.. The Philippines has a very low one. Some say it is because of the Catholic Church. But the low rate was here before the Church came. Even the word suicide here *susayid* was imported. (In tribal based societies, suicide is not a valid concept. In communal based thinking, there is no individual to kill because everyone is part of the whole.)

These "poor," Filipinos are wealthy in early childhood touching. And they are wealthy in happiness, relationships, emotional stability, love for themselves and one another. Many of them who can't wait to go to the States, are happier to get back to where they feel like they belong. They are joyful to return to where people are respected and loved, where people smile, not scowled, where there is more laughter and less stress and anger, less concern with time and "accomplishment." They are happy to return to where being a *good* person is as much value as being a wealthy one, or more so. They are happy to get back to their country where being a good loving, caring person is more important that being a good student or holding high position or having "big bucks."

Unfortunately, some feel, times are changing here, I believe culturally, for the worse. I have seen it over the last 25 years. But as long children get the touching they *require,* for developing happiness, in their early years, they will continue to smile and be happy. They will be "True Filipinos." And they will continue to be loyal to their friends, relatives and loved ones.

I hope you who have not experienced living in this communal milieu, this supportive environment of interdependence, do get over soon and enjoy it. If you can't take a lot of happiness and laid back people who are not in a hurry to go anywhere, at least, you can see it first hand. Then you can go back to where you belong if you want. Or you can stay and let it "rub off on you."

Very best always,
Don

Article taken from:

http://www.livinginthephilippines.com/touching_happiness_filipino_and_foreigner.html

Images taken from:

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kzdeqlcMib1qbp2vbo1_400.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/155/393526043_2d21ce0590.jpg

http://a.abcnews.com/images/International/ap_holy_phillipines_090412_ssv.jpg

http://photoartforums.com/forums/uploads/1277615783/med_gallery_2_23_3834.jpg

The Touch of God

2011-04-01T10:46:00.002-04:00

By Adron

Everybody has times of discouragement, or times when we feel failure and loss. We live among imperfect people, and some cause us harm.

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.” Psalm 73:23 NIV.

Read this psalm, the author struggled with the evils of humanity. Then he makes a statement that begins with, “Yet.” “Yet” says, “Here is an alternative,” or “in spite of everything,” it is a turning point. We need to turn and view God and His goodness.

We should never forget the basics of faith. As we mature God is just refining those basics, they are reapplied and relearned. One is that God is “Always” with us. “Always” refers to time, and there is no time or place or circumstance left out of always. No event can make the “always” null and void. It will forever stand that God is “always” with us. Only my sin will rob us of the joy of knowing the “always-ness” of God.

Always is only half of the thought, it is incomplete without “With.” With is the idea of together; with is side by side, not apart. Wherever I am the “with” of “God with me” will always be true. In the darkest day and most difficult place remember the “With.”

God touches, He touches lives and He touches hearts. Jesus touched the leprous with his healing touch and God is not afraid to “Hold” our hand. He initiates and He reaches out. We may let go but not God, He continues to hold even when we feel dirty and bad all over. God is the one who holds, and letting go is not an option with God. We may wander but since God holds our hand He keeps us next to Him.

For many people the “right hand” is primary. It implies strength and skill. The right hand speaks of acceptance and God holds our right hand to say He accepts us; and to say we are dear and cherished by Him. It is one thing to say I am with you, but if I am holding your hand you know I am with you. When I am holding your hand your struggles are my struggles your enemies are my enemies. Holding hands is a public demonstration for all to see, God is not ashamed to be seen holding your hand. There is comfort in holding hands, sometimes words are inappropriate, and empty; God knows we need that holding touch; it communicates more than words ever can.

Have you put your hand in the Master’s hand? If you feel that God is far from you call out to Him and tell Him you accept his hand in yours and welcome His presence in your life.

You’re Friend Adron

Article taken from:

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/5061530-the-touch-of-god

Images taken from:

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/capngizmo/savedbyGod.png

http://www.stroudchurch.com/files/QuickSiteImages/Jesus_hug.jpg.

http://somethinggraphic.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/istock_000006935189small.jpg

Battle of the Brainless (Biro ng Pinoy)

2011-03-18T01:30:00.007-04:00

Host: What "S" (Sampaguita) is the national flower of the Philippines?
Contestant: Sunflower?

Host: Hindi. Binebenta ito sa kalye.
Contestant: Stork?

Host: Hindi. Bulaklak sabi eh.
Contestant: Sitsarong bulaklak?

Host: Hindi pa rin. It ends with a letter "A."
Contestant: Sitsarong bulaklak na may suka?

Host: Oh, para madali, uulitin ko ang clues at dadagdagan ko pa! Anong pangalan ng bulaklak na nagsisimula sa "S," nagtatapos sa letrang "A," at kapangalan ng isang sikat na singer?
Contestant: Si...Sharon Cuneta!

********************
Host: What "N" (narra) is the national tree of the Philippines?
Contestant: Niyog?

Host: Mas matigas pa diyan.
Contestant : (in a strong-sounding voice) NIYOG!!!

*******************
Host: Saan "B" (beach) tayo madalas pumunta pag summer upang maligo?
Contestant: Banyo?

Host: Hindi, pag pumunta ka doon, maaarawan ka.
Contestant: Bubong?

Host: Hindi, marami kang makikita duong mga babaeng naka-bikini.
Contestant: Beerhouse!

********************
Host: Anong "L" (Lifeguard) ang tawag sa tao na sumasagip sa iyo pagikaw ay nalulunod?
Contestant: Lifebuoy?

Host: Hindi, pero kahawig nga ng pangalan ng sabon ang pangalan ng ito.
Contestant: Safeguard?

Host: Hindi, pagsamahin mo yung dalawang sagot mo.
Contestant: Safe Buoy?

Host: Hindi siya "boy" at matipuno nga ang kaniyang katawan.
Contestant: Ah, Mr. Clean!

********************
Host: Saan "B" (Bagumbayan) binaril si Jose Rizal?
Contestant: Sa back?

Host: O sige, puwede rin na ang simula ay letter "L" (Luneta).
Contestant: Likod?

Host: Hindi pa rin. Para mas madali, "R.P." ang initials ng modern name nito ( Rizal Park ).
Contestant: Rear Part? (Susme! Likod pa rin yun!)

********************
Host: Anong "S" (Salbabida) ang ginagamit na flotation device sa dagat upang hindi ka malunod?
Contestant: Sirena?

Host: Hindi! Hindi ito babae.
Contestant: Siyokoy?

Host: Hindi ito lalake.
Contestant: Siyoke?

*******************
Host: Sino ang kauna-unahang Chess Grandmaster (Eugene Torre) of Asia?
Contestant: Carole KING?

Host: Hindi, mas mababa sa king.
Contestant: Al QUINN?

Host: Hindi, tagalog ang apelyido niya.
Contestant: Armida Siguion-REYNA?

Host: Hindi pa rin. Mas mababa sa reyna.
Contestant: BISHOP Bacani?

Host: Mas mababa sa bishop.
Contestant: Johnny MidNIGHT?

Host: Mas mababa sa Knight.
Contestant: Jerry PONS?

Host: Oh, ayan na, nabanggit mo na lahat ng piyesa sa Chess. Yung kahuli-hulihang piyesa na lang.
Contestant: Sylvia laTORRE!

********************
Host: Sino ang national hero na naka-picture sa 500 Peso bill? Clue, may initials na N.A. (Ninoy Aquino)
Contestant: Nora Aunor?

Host: Hindi. Ang pangalan niya ay nage-end sa "Y."
Contestant: Guy Aunor?

Host: Hindi. Dati siyang Senador.
Contestant: Si Former Senator Guy Aunor?

Host: Hindi. Patay na siya.
Contestant: ANO??!! PATAY NA SI NORA AUNOR???!!!

********************
One more dagdag:

Host: What "K" (kalabaw) is the national animal of the Philippines?
Contestant: Kuto?

Host : Hinde. Clue, it tills the land.
Contestant: Kutong Lupa!

Lambing Words

2011-03-07T07:01:00.003-05:00

Pauwi Na

2011-02-26T09:21:00.000-05:00

Child Behavior Problems With an Absent Mother

2011-02-01T07:25:00.002-05:00

By Erin Schreiner on December 10, 2010 When a mother is gone, a child may pay the price.

Ideally, children are raised with two loving parents to care for and support them. In some instances, however, this is not the case. When a child is left motherless as a result of divorce, separation or death, the child may experience problems associated with this absence. By understanding and preparing for these problems, fathers and other concerned friends and relatives can more effectively help the child cope with his mother's absence.

Varied Effects
The degree to which the absence of a mother impacts a child depends on an assortment of factors, reports AtHealth. Everything from the gender of the child to the age at which the child lost his mother can play a part in determining how acutely the child feels the effects of not having his maternal parent. Fathers and other caregivers should not assume that the child will exhibit a certain behavior as a result of this absence. Instead, they should monitor the child and determine how that child is feeling the effects.

Impact of Anger
In many instances, children who lack a mother feel anger. This anger and feeling of abandonment can lead to mood swings or physical aggression, leading to difficulty in school or when interacting with peers. While it would seem that children who have lost their mother due to death should not feel the same anger, research indicates that they commonly still feel anger at the parent, even through her absence was not by choice.

Raised Hyperactivity
Children who are separated from their mother at a young age may be more prone to hyperactivity, suggests a Science Daily report. This report references an experiment in which mice were separated from their mothers. In this experiment, mice pulled from their maternal parent earlier were found to be more hyperactive than those who were given time with their mothers during development.

Increased Delinquency
When a child doesn't have the support of his mother, he may be more likely to engage in delinquent behavior, reports AtHealth. When a mother is out of the picture, the child doesn't have two sets of eyes monitoring his behavior, making it easier for him to get away with negative behaviors. Additionally, the child may allow his feelings of anger over the absence of his mother to lead him to act out and rebel against the remaining parent, causing him to engage in delinquent behavior.
Role of Remaining Parent
Properly parenting a child who is without his mother can present a challenge. As the remaining parent or other caregiver, it is vital that you are supportive of the child. It is also key that you not minimize the child's feelings. While it might seem logical to tell the child that you know how he feels, or explain that even though his mother is gone you still love him and that he is not alone, saying these things can make the child feel as if you are not allowing him his natural emotions. It could damage your relationship with the child and make it even more difficult for you to help.

Article taken from:

http://www.modernmom.com/article/child-behavior-problems-with-an-absent-mother

Images taken from:

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd49/faith_amom/AP0110_sleeping_child.jpg

http://billarnold.typepad.com/photos/portraits/valliam.jpg

Absentee Fathers: The Current State of Fatherhood and What You Can Do About It

2011-01-16T08:40:00.002-05:00

The problems associated with Absentee Fathers and the impact that they have on our children, including father and daughter relationships, have been well publicized over the last several years. It seems that we acknowledge the problem, however we are not sure what to do as a remedy.

What is more alarming is that the problem is even worse according to the latest research statistics. According to 72.2 % of the U.S. population, Absentee Fathers is the most significant family or social problem facing America.

What does this mean?

1. An estimated 24.7 million children (36.3%) live absent from their biological father.

2. There are almost 17 million children (25%) living with their single mothers.

3. 1.25 million or 32% of all births in 1995 were out-of-wedlock.

4. Today nearly 4 out of 10 first marriages end in divorce, 60% of divorcing couples have children, and over one million children each year experience the divorce of their parents.

5. One out of every six children is a stepchild.

6. There are nearly 1.9 million single fathers with children under 18.

7. 4 out of every 10 cohabitating couples have children present, and of children born to cohabitating couples, only 4 out of 10 will see their parents marry. Those who do cohabitate experience a 50% higher divorce rate.

8. 26% of absentee fathers live in a different state than their children.

9. About 40% of the children who live in absentee father households haven't seen their fathers in at least a year while 50% of children who don't live with their fathers have never stepped foot in their father's home.

10. Children who live absent from their biological fathers, on average, are more likely to be poor, experience educational, health, emotional and psychological problems, be victims of child abuse, and engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological mother and father.

Currently, 57.7 percent of all black children, 31.8 percent of all Hispanic children, and 20.9 percent of all white children are living in single-parent homes.

So, does a father’s influence in his children’s life really matter?

According to the research findings:

A white teenage girl from an advantaged background is five times more likely to become a teen mother if she grows up in a single-mother household with an absentee father than if she grows up in a household with both biological parents.

A survey of over 20,000 parents found that when fathers are involved in their children's education including attending school meetings and volunteering at school, children were more likely to get A's, enjoy school, and participate in extracurricular activities and less likely to have repeated a grade.

A survey of 720 teenage girls found:

97% of the girls said that having parents they could talk to could help reduce teen pregnancy

93% said having loving parents reduced the risk

76% said that their fathers were very or somewhat influential on their decision to have sex

A Father's role in the family is far more important than just being the breadwinner and male authority figure. There is a consensus among the experts in child and family studies that the father’s role in the family affects his children’s development.

Dr Ross Parke, an authority on fathering, studied the role that fathers play in the family and observed that men give greater freedom to their infants to explore. This helps to develop their sense of independence.

Dr Parke’s research also stressed that fathers who were actively involved in their children’s play helped promote greater self-control in children and gave them more opportunities to learn emotional cues.

Some additional facts concerning the influence of fathers in their daughter’s lives

Fathers are incredibly important in their daughters' development -- their self-esteem, how they see themselves. Daughters tend to view themselves as their fathers viewed them. They expect to be treated as their fathers treated them.

Another interesting note is that women who are successful in sports usually had an involved father and daughter relationship that encouraged and supported their athletic pursuits.

A father who is involved in his daughter’s growing up shares a special bond with her. It is agreed that good father and daughter relationships tend to make the daughter more confident and have a good self-image.

Many young girls, as they approach puberty, tend to lack self-assurance and have low self-esteem. If their fathers acknowledge them as capable and beautiful individuals, they grow up knowing that they are loved for who they are.

According to Dr Michael Gurian who wrote The Wonder of Girls, the father and daughter relationship is unlike a mother and daughter relationship. Fathers have to make an effort to bond with their children.

Fathers who take the time to listen to their daughters find that they can communicate better with them.

This open channel of communication between fathers and daughters will lead to greater benefits in later life. The young child will grow into an articulate person with strong opinions. Looking at the many examples of great women today, we know this to be true. Fathers are often adept in helping daughters with problem-solving skills and risk-taking.

Fathers who make a difference in the lives of their daughters can change their world. Women who have positive relationships with their fathers because of positive fathers and daughters relationships tend to be high achievers and are able to choose life partners who will respect and value them for who they are.

A father’s love for his daughter accentuates her self-value and defines her as a worthy person.

The bottom line?
During adolescence, it may feel like your daughter wants nothing to do with you. But it’s essential that you build on the strong emotional connections you’ve built during her younger years. Positive, loving affection will strengthen the vital fathers and daughters connection as she develops into a woman.

What do dads feel they need to do to improve their fathers and daughters relationship?

In the latest fathers and daughters.org 2004 study, the following are the key results (This study is also included on our Free Articles page):

Asked to identify approaches from a list of items, fathers responded:

1. “Spend more time with her” (34%) -- especially those who have a daughter age 18 to 25

2. “Better communicate my thoughts and feelings to her” (23%) -- especially those with daughters age 13-17

3. “Do a better job understanding her point of view” (22%)

So, the question is, can fathers and daughters really succeed at achieving improved communications and actually become friends before one of you goes insane? :) The answer is yes! The results of the above study do show that fathers do understand what is necessary to solve the problem. What they need is help with getting started on the road to better communications with their daughters.

How "Realizing the Power of Love" can help

The premise behind our book, "Realizing the Power of Love," is that the amount of freedom that your teen enjoys, is proportionate to the amount of responsibility that she displays. It is a win-win approach that is based upon mutual respect, honesty and love. Additionally, it stresses and reinforces that your daughter should come to you, without fear, to discuss things PRIOR to her acting.
Why this approach is successful is that both fathers and daughters (and mothers and sons) understand EXACTLY what they personally WILL receive by improving their relationship. Essentially, teens will feel like they are a part of the solution, as opposed to the problem; and as they see improvement, they get excited and soon the new way of communicating becomes part of their lifestyle. You then finally get some peace of mind, and hopefully a few less gray hairs. :) The good news is that our approach is built upon skills that you already possess and use at work and other adult situations.

Article taken from:

http://www.dads-daughters.com/absentee-fathers.html

Images taken from:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3070/2646694701_96a5884572.jpg

http://www.rat-race-escape-artists.com/fathers-day-gifts.html

http://www.rantsfromamadman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/father-daughter.jpg

http://www.norcalblogs.com/post_scripts/Father%20%26%20Daughter.jpg

Counseling Jokes

2011-01-10T08:52:00.002-05:00

A counselor was walking along a Hawaiian beach when he kicked a bottle poking up through the sand. Opening it, he was astonished to see a cloud of smoke and a genie smiling at him.

"For your kindness," the genie said, "I will grant you one wish!" The counselor paused, laughed, and replied, "I have always wanted a road from Hawaii to California."

The genie grimaced, thought for a few minutes and said, "Listen, I'm sorry, but I can't do that! Think of all the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how long they'd have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement. That's too much to ask."

"OK," the counselor said, not wanting to be unreasonable. "I'm a clinical counselor. Make me understand my patients. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, what do they really want? Basically, teach me to understand what makes them tick!"

The genie paused, and then sighed, "Did you want two lanes or four?"
_________________________________________

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "NO! I won't sleep with you tonight!"

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?!"

Images taken from:

http://www.freelawofattraction.com/

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_s-dpDLkDzz4/TH1RLyKGg6I/AAAAAAAAABk/NdwVZJXOnoc/S240/Cartoon_Girl.jpg

Maligayang Pasko!

2010-12-24T23:17:00.000-05:00

Mental Illness On The Rise in the Philippines

2010-11-07T07:57:00.002-05:00

From: Philippine Star

Cases of mental illness in the country are on the rise with the increase in population, but the Filipinos’ faith in God and sense of humor help them cope with situations that can lead to insanity, psychiatrists said Wednesday.

Dr. Noel Reyes, a psychiatrist at the National Center for Mental Health in Mandaluyong City, said one of the most common brain diseases among Filipinos is schizophrenia, which afflicts one percent of the total population.

"It (cases of mental illness) increases as the population increases. For example for schizophrenia, if we are now 88 million, expect that 880,000 of us are schizophrenic," Reyes said at a recent health forum.

Dr. Lourdes Ignacio, president of the Philippine Psychiatrists' Association, said some of the factors that trigger the disease include stress factors like traffic, loss of loved ones, disasters and even bombings.

Among overseas Filipino workers, Ignacio said seamen were found to be the most vulnerable to mental disorders because they tend to rely on alcohol or drugs to ease their homesickness.

Reyes explained that the increase in the incidence of mental illness was also due to the widespread use of prohibited drugs.

He said the Dangerous Drugs Board recently released data, which shows that eight million Filipinos are drug users.

"Drug addicts or substance abusers have dual diagnosis: substance addiction or substance dependence, and psychiatric disorder whether it’s depression, anxiety," Reyes said, adding that these patients become drug addicts because they are self-medicating.

"Some of the statistics in the hospital would say that yes, they started as saying they have psychiatric disorder but they end up being addicts. These factors add up to the mental health of the Philippines," he said.

However, Ignacio said Filipinos have their own natural coping mechanism compared to other nationalities.

She said Filipinos’ strong faith in God, sense of humor and concern for others, are among the mechanisms that help them cope with depression.

"We are very much crisis-oriented and we have natural ways of coping with it," she said.

Ignacio said they consider these as forms of coping with mental disorders even without scientific basis.

Reyes said some mental patients could function normally again after being treated.

"Of course, for example, a bank manager suffered from schizophrenia, he or she cannot go back as a bank manager, but as a clerk. There is some form of regression but in terms of symptoms, they are free from symptoms, but their functioning has already regressed in some form," he said.

On the other hand, Ignacio revealed that the Philippines is facing an acute shortage of psychiatrists due to the unabated migration of mental health doctors who seek greener pastures abroad.

She said there are only 400 psychiatrists in the country, and most them are in the National Capital Region.

Ignacio said the provinces of Cotabato and Surigao, in particular, lack the service of psychiatrists.

According to Reyes, some of the symptoms of schizophrenia include a change in behavior, forgetting basic functions such as in personal hygiene, social and occupational dysfunction like when the person does not want to go back to work.

"There is really a need to consult a professional," he said.

Article taken from:

http://www.asiafinest.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=103178

Images taken from:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/u81/Schizophrenia.jpg

http://christian-dating-service-plus.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/06/singles%20and%20loneliness.jpg

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1195/1395016470_ed81c91e4a.jpg

Using Humor to Cope: Laughing in the Midst of Stress

2010-10-23T08:43:00.002-04:00

"Gentlemen, why don't you laugh? With the fearful strain that is upon me day and night, if I did not laugh I should die, and you need this medicine as much as I do." (Abraham Lincoln, during the Civil War)

In the book, One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, McMurphy (played by Jack Nicholson in the film) says, "When you lose your sense of humor, you lose your footing." Another character says about McMurphy, "He knows you have to laugh at the things that hurt you, just to keep yourself in balance, just to keep the world from running you plumb crazy."

This is great wisdom from someone who lives in a psychiatric institution. Your sense of humor is one of the most potent tools you have to cope with those days when life seems determined to deal you enough stress to make you crazy. You have enough stress in dealing with your cancer on a day-to-day basis, so you certainly don't need extra sources of stress from your job and personal relationships.

Empowerment has become a major buzzword in corporations, as companies have recognized the value of granting more decision-making power to employees at all levels of the organization. Empowerment is just as important in taking control of your emotional reactions in on a day-to-day basis in connection with your cancer. While you never want to deny the reality of the issues you must deal with that stem from your cancer, there is real a real sense of exhilaration that comes from learning to use your sense of humor to pull yourself up by your "emotional boot-straps" on your down days.

The above quote from President Lincoln occurred when Lincoln read something to his advisors that he found very funny, but they didn't laugh, presumably because of the seriousness of the situation they were dealing with. Lincoln was convinced that it was precisely because the situation was so serious that he needed to laugh.

The same situation occurs with many cancer patients (and their family members), who simply cannot find the resources within them to laugh--because of the seriousness of the situation they or their loved one is dealing with. But just think of what daily immersion in a sobering, serious attitude does to the quality of your life. It is stifling and robs you of the opportunities for joy that a more upbeat, positive attitude brings.

In the March, 1999 article in Humor Your Tumor, I mentioned a woman with breast cancer who discovered the emotional trap her cancer had led her into. She had had a double mastectomy, and had two prosthetic breasts. Her story is worth repeating here, since it specifically deals with not allowing yourself to be overcome with "terminal seriousness" or negative emotion.

She lived in a house in the suburbs of Provo, Utah. One day, three weeks after her surgery, she went to her front porch to pick up her morning newspaper. As she bent over to pick it up, one of her breasts popped out. And the family dog, thinking this was a new toy, grabbed it and was running around the yard with it in his mouth. She ran after the dog, shouting, "You come back here with my breast. You bring my breast back!"

When she realized what she was saying, she stopped and looked around to see if anyone else was up that early and heard her. To her great relief, no one else was up. But when she realized what she had been shouting, and thought about what the neighbors would have thought had they heard her, she started laughing, and couldn't stop. She was laughing so hard that tears were coming out of her eyes.

When she finally stopped laughing, she realized that was what had been missing from her life. She could not remember laughing since her diagnosis of cancer. And she was determined to never let another day go by without having some laughter in her life. She realized that she needed to laugh, even when she didn't feel like laughing. The laughter itself boosted her spirits and made it easier to face the tough days.

She and Abraham Lincoln both recognized the power of humor to help them get through the difficult situation they were dealing with. As you look at your own life since your diagnosis with cancer, consider the effect this has had on your ability to ease into that playful attitude that is so important for finding humor in your own everyday life. If your sense of humor has abandoned you, go back right now to the September, 1999 article in the Humor Your Tumor archives and start making the effort to boost your humor skills.

[Adapted from P.E. McGhee Health, Healing and the Amuse System: Humor as Survival Training, Kendall-Hunt, 1999]

Article written by: Paul E. McGhee (2003)

Article taken from:

http://www.laughterremedy.com/humor2.dir/humor.html

Pictures taken from:

http://www.cookinglight.com/healthy-living/fitness/5-ways-to-boost-metabolism-00400000039560/page6.html

http://jpgmag.com/photos/89470

Babalik Ka Rin

2010-10-10T08:03:00.000-04:00

The Healing Power of Touch

2010-09-06T09:13:00.002-04:00

Touch is the first sensation we feel when we come into this world. A child’s mental, emotional and physical well-being initially depends a lot on a tender touch. Doctors insist on a newborn baby being placed immediately on the mother’s bosom to feel her heartbeat and to experience the gentle touch of her arms around the body. This helps the child gain a profound sense of security and it later helps in developing their self-esteem, as an adult.

Touch is a very important sensation for human beings to gain a sense of healthy emotional responses later in life. Every child learns the sensation of love and tenderness first with his mother’s touch. Even plants and animals respond to touch. They grow well, feel nurtured and cared for when they are touched. We bring animals into our homes and call them pet. The word pet is all about petting, touching, indulging and caring.

Touch is the nourishment for our soul. Touch releases the endorphins in the brain and essentially helps us feel good.

Ever wondered how a quiet touch conveys a lot to a grieving person than many words of solace? Personally speaking, I feel absolutely at loss with words when I come across a grieving person. I feel that how could words, no matter how right they are, calm the heart torn asunder with grief? However, I have found on few occasions that just placing a quiet hand on the shoulder or gently caressing the hand of a person broken down with emotional pain, calm the sobs to a great extent. It sends across the silent message that you care and empathize with them in their pain. I have experienced that they almost always become quiet in their wailings and give in to a more healthy response of shedding quiet tears. And Psychologists say that to give yourself the permission to cry heartily is to bless your body with the benediction of healing. When a person is frozen with grief and shock, a touch brings on the healing response. They begin to cry, and it lifts them off the dry rocks of their sudden distress.

Touch calms anger, grief and aggression. It brings on healthy tears, stops unchecked and hysterical tears and helps a person gain a balanced perspective on many difficult situations. No words are required when touch is used to convey messages of compassion.
It is observed that more often than not those who are acting hysterical respond to a quiet touch. Though, generally speaking, we as people stay away from such a person. Feeling that they might react violently, but unless a person is medically declared a psychotic, most aggression changes into quietness with a gentle touch.

We all are inherently programmed to receive and give touch to each other. Without touch, relationships fail to blossom, not just among lovers, but between parent and child too. We all know how a crying child responds instantaneously to the touch of his mother and becomes quiet immediately. How we are told to hug our children to help them grow into emotionally healthy and caring persons in life. Most failing marriages lack the right touches and need a right touch to set it right!

Often when Psychoanalysts talk about troubled childhood and children having grown up with baggages that are at times too hard a burden to carry for their inner world, it is about the lack of proper nurturing and touching as children. Often neglected by a distant father and unloving mother the boys grow up without love and affection for a woman and are unable to commit fully to other relationships in their lives later.

Without getting into the convoluted discussion of troubled childhood and its impact on an adult, lets just sum it up and say that it is the lack of touch, hug and caress in the childhood that creates an intense sense of separateness in a child and they grow up feeling a deeply disturbing loneliness almost all through their lives.

Mother Teresa discovered the power of touch when she said that more than hunger, poverty and physical suffering it is the lack of love, which make people die everyday. She used to touch the lepers and bathe their wounds with her own hands.

It is hard to be Mother Teresa as she was a noble soul, but we could all realize the power of touch and just give it out freely to our fellow human beings only to share with all humanity the feelings of brotherhood and equality.

Let’s, begin from home. Let’s just reach out and hug our child or our parent today, and watch that sunny beam spread on their faces, to warm the cockles of our own heart. Go touch.

Article taken from:

http://www.odemagazine.com/blogs/readers_blog/13878/the_healing_power_of_touch

Pictures taken from:

http://www.purefocus.co.nz/images.php?imgfile=images/purefocus/d4.jpg&max_width=460&max_height=345

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/440000/images/_441559_consoling150.jpg

http://www.mideastyouth.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/big-hug-008.jpg

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/10_04/bullyingDM2810_468x720.jpg

Fatherhood Fact Sheet

2010-06-28T10:14:00.001-04:00

Taken from the United Families Website. Please click images below to Enlarge.

Fathers: Crucial to Society

2010-06-20T09:25:00.003-04:00

"One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters."
- 17th Century English Proverb

Teenage delinquents were killing their neighbors. A few years ago, the TV news program "60 Minutes" first reported on this story. But they weren't talking about humans; they were talking about elephants. It seems this story actually began about 20 years earlier in South Africa when an overabundance of elephants in a preserve forced ecologists to relocate elephants. It was difficult to relocate adult elephants, so most of the male elephants were killed and the young elephants and some of their mothers were relocated to another preserve.

Years later those fatherless and orphaned elephants developed into troubled teen-agers; teenagers that began harassing and killing other animals in the wildlife preserve - namely the scarce and prized white rhinos. In addition to killing rhinos, the juvenile elephants acted aggressively toward tourist vehicles. Eventually researchers had to kill five of the elephants because there is no reform school for animals. Or is there?

The park rangers began looking for role models. They brought in older bull elephants. The bigger, older elephants established a new hierarchy and provided much needed training and restraint for the young elephants. The lead field ecologist at the preserve compared the change to a group of teen-agers who have been acting up who are suddenly confronted by their fathers. After the big bull elephants arrived not a single rhino was killed and the younger elephants quickly fell into line.

A simple story. A simple truth. Societies, even elephant societies, need fathers.

What is the greatest predictor of juvenile crime? (We're talking about humans here!) Answer: Fatherlessness. The one human being most capable of curbing the antisocial aggression of a boy is his biological father. The percentage of fatherless families in a community reliably predicts that community's rate of violent crime, while the community's poverty level does not.

Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school, be involved in early sexual activity and fatherless girls are seven times more likely to get pregnant as an adolescent. Even obesity in children is significantly correlated with fatherlessness. We could go on listing statistics. Suffice it to say: Our fathers fill a role that is irreplaceable!

The distinctly different characteristics of men and women are especially important as we consider the impact of fathers. Dad's strong hands move furniture, open jars, "rough house" with kids, fix a myriad of broken things, and give much needed security and protection in an uncertain world. The influence of good father's extends far beyond the walls of the home.

This Sunday as you remember the dads in your life, thank them for and encourage them in their role in making the world a better place. As you honor the fathers in your life consider why we at United Families International feel strongly about the make up of families - fathers, mothers, and children are critically important in maintaining a healthy society. We can - and must - rebuild a culture of marriage and intact families for the sake of our children and societies everywhere.

United Families International has complied for you a Fatherhood Fact sheet so you can see what social science teaches about the important role of fathers. Check it out here.

Here is some more good news: fatherlessness is a completely curable social disease. Being a great dad doesn't have to be difficult. As we are reminded of the value of the role of fathers, we invite Dad's everywhere to implement these 5 simple suggestions for being a great dad today!

5 Ways to Be a Great Dad Today

We have five things you can do today:

1. Look at your children and call out their best. Be your kid's biggest fan. Your children are waiting for you to call out their best. They are waiting for you to give them praise and affirmation. Call out what they did right in their choices and actions. Call out what you like best about them. Call out the fact that you love them deeply.

2. Love your children by touching them gently and speaking to them softly. There is nothing so powerful as a father's touch. A soft and gentle touch - a hug, a kiss on the head - can make a child feel safe and secure.

3. Listen to what your children are saying and to what they are not saying. Spend time listening to your children talk about their day. Ask them questions and listen to what they are not saying. Listening will only take a few minutes, but the impact will last a lifetime.

4. Leave a legacy by giving your children a memory. Make a plan to do something simple but something that your children can always remember. Read the same story each night for a month, play a certain game each week, fix the same dinner or breakfast every Saturday.

5. Laugh with your children. Allow your children to find the joy in life that comes with innocence. Then laugh with your children in these moments and find the deepest joy that is known in the heart of a parent.

If you take the time to love, laugh, look, listen, and leave a legacy, you will find connect with your kids and be the dad they need and want you to be.

Article taken from: http://unitedfamiliesinternational.wordpress.com/2010/06/17/fathers-crucial-to-society/

Images taken from:
http://www.hamiltonbeach.com/images/gift/dad.jpg
http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee234/Rulingmaster/father-daughter.jpg
http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/u15/Father_and_daughter_2.jpg
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/158/347006313_57309d6b5e.jpg

The Role of Laughter in Psychotherapy

2010-06-15T10:44:00.001-04:00

by Enda Junkins

In 1990, I had the good fortune to stumble across real Laughter Therapy, not just the "laughter therapy" that refers to everyday laughter in life. First exposed at a conference on laughter and play, I followed up with more formal training in California. This form of psychotherapy made immense sense in a way no other therapeutic modality had. I was delighted to add it to my therapeutic tool kit. It became my specialty and led me to professional speaking, authoring two books, and producing three videos on different aspects of laughter.

None of my clients are pushed into utilizing laughter in their lives. I present them with the opportunity and the skills and leave the rest to them. If they are not ready to laugh, I follow their lead. My intent is to assist people to reach their goals in the way they need to go. However, laughter is powerful, important and a wonderful addition to the therapeutic journey when presented as an option by a therapist who is well trained.

Laughter in therapy does not refer to jokes in therapy nor does it minimize a client's issues. It is one of three major forms of catharsis in therapy that also include tears and anger release. With the consent of the client, the therapist works to help find tools to create the laughter catharsis. Each client is unique and the means to be able to play with serious issues will vary from person to person. In order to achieve laughter one combines play with serious issues. Play may incorporate a different way of thinking, word play, props, phraseology, etc. Playfulness is not synonymous with silliness so one need not fear losing one's adult dignity. Interestingly, laughter alone will not suffice to completely deal with issues. As feelings are accessed, crying, anger work and talking are often necessary along with laughter. Emotions are held in the body and all means of catharsis are necessary to heal. Which ones and how much depend on the individual. Laughter is the perhaps the most important because it releases three emotions (anger, anxiety and boredom) and it is the most pleasant and often the most acceptable. Clients who are willing to utilize laughter in therapy will generally move through their pain more quickly.

Article taken from:
http://www.laughtertherapy.com/Articlebestbetforblues.htm#laughter
Image taken from:
http://www.mynewsletterbuilder.com/ex/template_content_corner/ex28/images/laughter350x330.jpg

"Lambing Music" - A Time For Us

2010-05-30T07:51:00.001-04:00

Call mum, you'll feel better -- and here's why

2010-05-26T08:36:00.002-04:00

Tue May 11, 7:11 PM

PARIS (AFP) - Getting a call from mum can be nearly as effective as a maternal hug for calming down after a tough event, according to a probe into the chemistry of human relationships.

Researchers measured levels of a stress hormone, cortisol, and also a comforter hormone, oxytocin, among 61 young girls who had to make a presentation in public.

The volunteers, aged seven to 12, were asked to do public speaking and then carry out an oral arithmetic test in front of an audience, according to the unusual experiment, reported on Wednesday by the British journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B.

Immediately afterward the event, a third of the girls were physically comforted by their mother; another third received a phone call from mum but did not see or touch her; and the remaining third received no support but watched a neutral film for 75 minutes.

As expected, cortisol levels, measured in saliva, soared as the youngsters became stressed by having to address the public.

But within 30 minutes of the event, cortisol concentrations returned to normal among the children who experienced direct physical contact with their mother.

Among the speech-only group, it took somewhat longer -- about an hour -- for cortisol levels to subside to normal. But among the no-contact group, levels were still more than a third above normal at the one-hour mark.

Similarly, oxytocin concentrations peaked highest among girls who were hugged, followed by girls who were given vocal support but no physical comfort. The surge was still prominent an hour afterwards.

But oxytocin levels remained very low and flat among the "no contact" group of girls who received neither physical nor vocal support.

The findings raise intriguing questions about human evolution, say the researchers led by Leslie Seltzer of the University of Wisconsin at Madison.

Oxytocin is famous as the "cuddle" hormone, a feel-good, trust-making biochemical found only in mammals.

Past research has found that the hormone is released on physical contact, helping to cement attachment between parents and offspring and between couples.

The new experiment confirms for the first time that this powerful hormone can also be triggered by words.

"Our results suggest that vocalisations may be as important as touch to the neuro-endocrine regulation of social bonding in our species," says the paper.

"(...) Vocal cues may be a viable alternative to physical contact for servicing human relationships."

Speech came before oxytocin, and not the other way round, say the authors.

The anatomical apparatus necessary for vocal cues "is at least" 400 million years old, whereas the mechanism for producing oxytocin probably evolved some 200 million years later.

The scientists chose girls for their experiment as they reasoned daughters, rather than sons, would be more accepting to warm physical touch and verbal contact with their mothers.

They also asked pre-pubescent children to carry out the experiment because of the risk that urine samples, used to measure the oxytocin, could be distorted by menstrual hormones.

Article taken from:

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/100511/health/science_psychology_women

Images taken from:

http://www.smedresmania.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/phoneIcon01Larrge-500x500.png

http://images.clipartof.com/small/13250-Yellow-Sticky-Note-With-A-Call-Mom-Reminder-Written-On-It-Clipart-Illustration.jpg

Counseling Jokes

2010-05-19T11:34:00.001-04:00

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?

The Initial Interview

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the counselor began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."

"Of course." replied the counselee. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

Not His Problem

A counselor is at a party talking with a small group of people, when a man comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder.

The counselor turns around and the man hauls off and decks him. The counselor gets up, brushes himself off, turns to the group and declares: "That's his problem."

Images taken from:

http://www.clker.com/cliparts/9/d/7/d/12205477241736915133monicams_Bathtub_1.svg.hi.png

Happy Mother’s Day

2010-05-08T23:24:00.004-04:00

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn ' t want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn ' t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn ' t know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn ' t know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby..
I didn ' t know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn ' t know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn ' t know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom .

IT REALY FEELS GREAT TO BE A MOM!!!!

Images taken from:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1201/1134619446_59f9805592.jpg
http://reachmagazinetv.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/mom_hug_son.jpg

Lambilos Therapy and Separation Anxiety - XV

2010-05-01T10:48:00.002-04:00

A.T. Church suggested that there is a need for the Filipinos to develop indigenous psychological concepts, methods, and come up with their own techniques in counseling, tailored to the Filipino personality.

In the Western culture, medication frequently plays a central role in the treatment of anxiety. However, V.C. Enriquez observed that when the Filipino gets sick, he is cured physically with drugs and medical aids but socio-psychologically with fruits beside him which he may not even eat. more importantly, he has people: friends and relatives. And to say the least, anxiety is a psychological sickness more than anything else.

A.T. Church mentioned that there are cultural factors to be considered in adapting or developing counseling techniques fit for the Filipino counselee. G. Velazco introduced an indigenous counseling approach using economic concepts, tools, and principles in counseling individuals with economic problems. for her tools, she used common sense, imagination and memory; right reasoning and logic, geometry; and higher mathematics. Her intervention proved to be not only effective but also popular to her Filipino counselees.

G. Velazco mentioned that conceptions of intelligent functioning are generally unique to a particular environment. Therefore, assessment procedures, for example, which aim for relevance, among other things, should be based on the consensus of indigenous conceptions.

A.T. Church emphasized that in the development of culture-relevant counseling theories and techniques, emphasis should be placed on the counselee's perception of nature and etiology of the emotional probems, focus of control and responsibility of behavioral change, expected and preferred roles of the counselor and counselee, desired and expected outcomes of counseling, and the conception of healthy personality functioning.

Image taken from:

http://elijah_matthew091282.blog.friendster.com/files/mano_po.jpg

Lambilos Therapy and Separation Anxiety XIV

2010-04-09T21:45:00.004-04:00

J.W. Worden suggested the following useful techniques in dealing with counselees who are grieving or suffering from separation anxiety: (a) use of evocative language; (b) use of symbols; (c) use of writing; (d) drawing; (e) role playing; (f) cognitive structuring; (g) use of memory book; and (h) directed imagery.

A.E. Kazdin pointed out that, in treating anxiety, the Western culture has offered several forms of interventions: (a) psychotherapy, which consist of having the counselee a talk about his or her feelings, conflicts, and efforts to foster awareness regarding factors related to fear; and (b) desensitization, which consist of a number of procedures including assertiveness training and involvement of the significant others to develop alternative counselee responses. He added other forms of Western developed interventions like behavioral modification, in-patient hospitalization, and home tutoring, among others.

Verbal exchange is an important means of establishing a meaningful relationship with a counselee. It reduces anxiety and communicates meaning. However, in as much as counseling is an art of understanding and being understood, it is not limited to the use of words. Thus, the counselor should be sensitive enough to assess unusual situations and come up with a technique - even an indigenous technique - in order to deal with the counselee and his or her urgent need.

This is where Lambilos Therapy - an indigenous counseling approach - comes to life.

Counseling techniques and clinical interventions from the Western tradition are undeniably helpful and effective. However, these same interventions may not always be appropriate to the Filipino counselors and and counselees.

In fact, indigenous interventions - like Lambilos Therapy - might even be more effective for the filipino counselee than the Western developed interventions because the Filipinos have a different way of looking at things and events. They simply have their own world which is very much different from what Westerners have.

Filipinos simply have a different personality. They have their own way of looking at the world around them. Their needs are so different from the needs of Western individuals. For example, Filipinos are by nature "malambing" (sweet), "mapagbiro" (sense of humor), and "mahilig manghaplos" (touch).

Image taken from:

http://www.steadyhealth.com/articles/user_files/4540/Image/worry1.jpg

The Seven Last Sayings of Jesus Christ

2010-03-27T23:55:00.001-04:00

Have An Attitude of Gratitude And You’ll Receive More Blessings – A Tale of Two Bullfrogs

2010-03-14T00:11:00.002-05:00

“Develop аח attitude οf gratitude, аחԁ give thanks fοr everything tһаt happens tο уου, knowing tһаt еνеrу step forward іѕ a step toward achieving something bіɡɡеr аחԁ better tһаח уουr current situation.” ~ Brian Tracy.

“Bе thankful fοr wһаt уου һаνе уου′ll еחԁ up having more. If уου concentrate οח wһаt уου don’t һаνе, уου wіƖƖ never, еνеr һаνе enough.” ~ Oprah Winfrey.

Billy Bob аחԁ Percy shared a lovely pond. Tһіѕ afternoon, јυѕt аѕ еνеrу afternoon, tһе two bullfrogs wеrе lazily perched οח lily pads taking іח tһе warm sunshine.

It didn’t take long fοr a fƖу tο flitter past Billy Bob. “Mmmmm,” ѕаіԁ Billy Bob. “Tһаt wаѕ fine аחԁ juicy! Absolutely ԁеƖісіουѕ!”

Soon аftеr, Percy аƖѕο caught a fƖу. Hе munched οח іt wіtһ a sour look οח һіѕ face, swallowed іt wіtһ a grunt, аחԁ tһеח ѕаіԁ, “Well, tһаt wаѕ a skinny fƖу. Quite disgusting, actually.”

Aѕ tһе afternoon wore οח, Billy Bob caught many fine flies, each one аѕ tаѕtу аѕ tһе one before. Percy’s flies аƖƖ left something tο bе desired.

Tһеח Billy Bob remarked, “Wһаt a fine life wе һаνе here, Percy. Gοοԁ food, ɡrеаt weather, аחԁ ехсеƖƖеחt songs fοr ουr evening pleasure. I tһіחk I’ll еחјοу a nap before tһе sun goes down.”

“It doesn’t seem ѕο ɡrеаt tο mе,” muttered Percy. “Tһе flies аrе skinny, іt’s tοο hot out here, аחԁ уου саח′t even carry a tune.”

Tһаt night, under a full moon, Billy Bob sang out һіѕ gratitude wіtһ joy аחԁ аƖƖ һіѕ friends іח tһе nearby ponds hopped over tο share іח һіѕ happiness. Hіѕ inner beauty shone Ɩіkе a beacon іח tһе night. Even tһе night moths wеrе drawn tο іt, providing a feast fοr tһе evening’s fare!

Percy sat nearby іח tһе ԁаrk, complaining аbουt һοw Billy Bob gets everything һе wаחtѕ, wһіƖе һе һаѕ tο scrape bу, аƖƖ alone.

Isn’t іt remarkable һοw Billy Bob аחԁ Percy сουƖԁ live іח tһе same рƖасе, wіtһ tһе exact same circumstances, аחԁ уеt lead two very different lives?

Tһе critical ԁіffеrеחсе wаѕ tһаt Billy Bob felt gratitude fοr wһаt һе һаԁ.

Lіkе Billy Bob, іf уου feel gratitude fοr уουr blessings, more ɡοοԁ things wіƖƖ come уουr way. Yουr ɡοοԁ feelings attract more ɡοοԁ back tο уου.

Fοr example, іf уου desire more money, bе thankful fοr tһе paycheck уου јυѕt received, חο matter һοw small іt mау һаνе bееח. Truly feeling grateful fοr іt attracts more back tο уου! Oח tһе οtһеr hand, іf уου focus οח һοw small уουr paycheck іѕ, tһаt’s a lack mentality, wһісһ attracts more lack back tο уου.

If уου wish tһаt уουr spouse wουƖԁ bе more loving toward уου, try gratitude! Yου’ll see јυѕt һοw much gratitude саח change уουr whole relationship fοr tһе better. Bе thankful even fοr tһе ƖіttƖе things уουr spouse ԁοеѕ. Sау “Thank уου″ аחԁ Ɩеt tһеm know һοw уου appreciate wһаt tһеу ԁο. Discover creative ways tο express уουr gratitude οח a daily basis.

One οf ουr basic needs іѕ tһе desire tο feel appreciated. Tһе more уου express sincere gratitude tο уουr spouse, tһе more уουr spouse wіƖƖ want tο please уου.

Tһіѕ attraction works іח еνеrу area οf уουr life: tһе financial, spiritual, emotional, аחԁ even physical dimensions.

Yου саח ѕtаrt each day οח a ɡοοԁ note bу giving thanks fοr tһе gift οf tһіѕ bеаυtіfυƖ day wһеח уου wake up іח tһе morning. At night, reflect οח аƖƖ tһе ɡοοԁ things frοm tһаt day. Try feeling gratitude fοr уουr blessings fοr a week аחԁ see wһаt a ԁіffеrеחсе іt саח mаkе іח уουr life!

Article taken from:

http://www.leonlioe.com/positive-attitude/an-attitude-of-gratitude

Images taken from:

http://mdc.mo.gov/news/images/fullsize/20080620.jpg

http://www.strangeattractor.co.uk/further/archives/bullfrog.jpg

"A Good Day" With Bro. David Steindl-Rast OSB

2010-03-12T10:45:00.004-05:00

Why The Amish Forgive So Quickly

2010-03-02T08:12:00.003-05:00

One year after the school shooting, a closer look at their religious impulse.

Elizabethtown, Pa.

ONE year ago today, a shooter entered a one-room Amish school in Nickel Mines, Pa., dismissed all but 10 girls, and fired at them execution-style, killing five before shooting himself.

Within hours, the Amish community forgave the killer and his family. News of the instant forgiveness stunned the outside world – almost as much as the incident itself did. Many pundits lauded the Amish, but others worried that hasty forgiveness was emotionally unhealthy.

In dozens of interviews with Amish people since the tragedy, I discovered that the Amish approach to forgiveness is indeed quick and unconventional – but also inspirational to the rest of us.

Members of the Amish community began offering words and hugs of forgiveness when the blood was barely dry on the schoolhouse floor. A grandmother laughed when I asked if the forgiveness was orchestrated. "You mean that some people actually thought we had a meeting to plan forgiveness?"

As the father of a slain daughter explained, "Our forgiveness was not our words, it was what we did." Members of the community visited the gunman's widow at her home with food and flowers and hugged members of his family. There were a few words, but it was primarily their hugs, gifts, and mere presence – acts of grace – that communicated Amish forgiveness. Of the 75 people at the killer's burial, about half were Amish, including parents who had buried their own children a day or so before. Amish people also contributed to a fund for the shooter's family

For most people, a decision to forgive comes – if ever – at the end of a long emotional journey that may stretch over months if not years. The Amish invert the process. Their religious tradition predisposes them to forgive even before an injustice occurs.

Amish faith is grounded in the teachings of Jesus to love enemies, reject revenge, and leave vengeance in the hands of God. As a father who lost a daughter in the schoolhouse said, "Forgiveness means giving up the right to revenge."

Unlike those who hire lawyers at every turn to protect their rights, the Amish yield to divine providence in the case of an unspeakable tragedy such as the one at Nickel Mines – believing that God's long arm of justice removes that need for human retaliation.
In the Amish view, forgiveness is a religious duty. As a young Amish carpenter said, "It's just standard forgiveness," but he was wrong. Conventional Christian forgiveness posits a God who forgives sinners and urges them to forgive others – to pass the grace on to those who wrong them. The Amish refrain – "If we don't forgive, we won't be forgiven" – shows a different impetus. Their salvation hinges on their willingness to forgive, a powerful motivation to extend grace to others. They cite the Lord's Prayer, and Jesus' story about an unforgiving servant as their motivation. One bishop, pointing to verses following the Lord's Prayer, said emphatically, "Forgiveness is the only thing that Jesus underscored in the Lord's Prayer."

"Forgiveness was a decided issue," one bishop explained – decided, that is, by Amish history and practice over the centuries. When the religious ancestors of the Amish were torched at the stake for their faith in 16th-century Europe, many of them, echoing Jesus on the cross, prayed aloud that God would forgive their executioners.

Despite their front-loaded commitment, the Amish still find forgiveness to be a long emotional process. Though there were no expressions of outright rage or hopes that the gunman would burn in hell, the wanton slaughter of their children did bring deep pain, tears, and raw grief.

While forgiveness means not holding a grudge – "the acid of bitterness eats the container that holds it," one farmer explained – the Amish are clear that it does not free the offender from punishment. Had the gunman survived, they would have wanted him locked up, not for revenge but to protect other children.

In mainstream society, retribution is a taken-for-granted right. Around the world, names of deities are often invoked to fuel cycles of revenge generation after generation.

In refreshing contrast, rather than using religion to bless and legitimize revenge, the Amish believe that God smiles on acts of grace that open doors for reconciliation.

• Donald B. Kraybill, distinguished professor at Elizabethtown College, is coauthor of the book, "Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy."

Article taken from: http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/1002/p09s02-coop.html

Pictures taken from:

http://www.dowdlefolkart.com/images/artwork/Amish---Father.gif

http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/prayer-healing-3.jpg

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01298/amish_1298544c.jpg

What Does the Bible Say About Forgiveness?

2010-02-21T05:53:00.004-05:00

Frequently Asked Questions About Forgiveness
By Mary Fairchild, About.com Guide

It is not uncommon for Christians to have questions about forgiveness. Forgiveness does not come easy for most of us. Our natural instinct is to recoil in self-protection when we've been injured. We don't naturally overflow with mercy, grace and forgiveness when we've been wronged.
Is forgiveness a conscious choice, a physical act involving the will, or is it a feeling, an emotional state of being? The Bible offers insight and answers to these and many more common questions about forgiveness. We'll take a look at the most common questions and find out what the Bible says about forgiveness.

Is forgiveness a conscious choice, or an emotional state?

I believe forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by obedience to God and his command to forgive.

The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us:

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (NIV)

How do we forgive when we don't feel like it? How do we translate the decision to forgive into a change of heart?

We forgive by faith, out of obedience. Since forgiveness goes against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete.

I believe God honors our commitment to obey Him and our desire to please him when we choose to forgive. He completes the work in his time. We must continue to forgive (our job), by faith, until the work of forgiveness (the Lord's job), is done in our hearts.

Philippians 1:6
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (NLT)

How will we know if we have truly forgiven?

Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."

We will know the work of forgiveness is complete when we experience the freedom that comes as a result. We are the ones who suffer most when we choose not to forgive. When we do forgive, the Lord sets our hearts free from the anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt that previously imprisoned us.

Most times, however, forgiveness is a slow process.

Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (NIV)

This answer by Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is not easy for us. It's not a one-time choice and then we automatically live in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness may require a lifetime of forgiving, but it is important to the Lord. We must continue forgiving until the matter is settled in our heart.
What if the person we need to forgive is not a believer?

I have found that prayer is one of the best ways to break down the wall of un-forgiveness in my heart. When I begin to pray for the person who has wronged me, God begins to give me new eyes to see that person and a new heart to care for that person. As I pray I begin to see that person as God sees them, and I realize that person is precious to the Lord. I also see myself in a new light, just as guilty of sin and failure as the other person. I too am in need of forgiveness. If God did not withhold his forgiveness from me, why should I withhold my forgiveness from another?

Is it okay to feel anger and want justice for the person we need to forgive?

This question presents another reason to pray for the person we need to forgive. We can pray for God to deal with the injustices, for God to judge the person's life, and then we can leave that prayer at the altar. We no longer have to carry the anger. Although it is normal for us to feel anger toward sin and injustice, it is not our job to judge the other person in their sin.

Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (NIV)

Why must we forgive?

The best reason to forgive is because Jesus commanded us to forgive. We learn from Scripture, if we don't forgive, neither will we be forgiven:

Matthew 6:14-16
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (NIV)

We also forgive so that our prayers will not be hindered:

Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. (NIV)

In summary and in closing, we forgive out of obedience to the Lord. It is a choice, a decision we make. However, as we do this "forgiving," we discover the command is in place for our own good, and we receive the reward of our forgiveness - freedom.

Article taken from: http://christianity.about.com/od/whatdoesthebiblesay/a/bibleforgivenes.htm

Pictures taken from:

http://www.christinepeloquin.com/Graphics/images/figures%20images/forgiveness.jpg

http://www.spiritualwisdom.org.uk/images/forgiveness.jpg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_PHHZqwGynuI/SwYLhiWrTMI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/pSYep1m28AY/s320/EB8E9818-E2DD-1FF2-3C25E8531A9B80D1_1.jpg

http://api.ning.com/files/Nic625Yn5YKLPrW9sjD16lhb2U3o11ecfZ-*dmlkD8huWakg3i4xK4UoT0phu3ZiTDi21PFgpb6IuSRxIXhhpmF5f9r8dNdq/JesusPeace.JPG

Forgiveness and the Freedom of Letting Go

2010-02-16T08:51:00.004-05:00

“Forgiving is, first of all, a way of helping yourself to get free of the unfair pain somebody caused you.” — Lewis B. Smedes

Is there someone you need to forgive? I am by no means an expert on forgiveness. I have no keys on “how-to” forgive. I think they say forgiveness is about letting go of the anger that is eating you up inside over the situation, but you don’t forget. Forgiveness is not saying that what the other person did was ok. Forgiveness does not mean I have to have this person in my life.

In his book “Forgive & Forget,” Lewis B. Smedes has this to say about forgiving and anger:

“Is there anger after forgiving? Yes, often. It can’t be helped. Some people believe that they should not feel anger in their hearts once they forgive.

I do not agree. I think that anger and forgiving can live together in the same heart. You are not a failure at forgiving just because you are still angry that a painful wrong was done to you.

It is terribly unrealistic to expect a single act of forgiving to get rid of all angry feelings.

Anger is the executive power of human decency. If you do not get angry and stay angry when a bad thing happens, you lose a piece of your humanity.

Remember, you cannot erase the past, you can only heal the pain it has left behind.

When you are wronged, that wrong becomes an indestructible reality of your life. When you forgive, you heal your hate for the person who created that reality. But you do not change the facts. And you do not undo all of their consequences. The dead stay dead; the wounded are often crippled still. The reality of evil and its damage to human beings is not magically undone and it can still make us very mad.

Once you start on your forgiving journey, you will begin to lose the passion of malice. Malice goes while anger lingers on. When forgiving begins it’s liberating work, the malice that once hissed like white flame from an acetylene torch begins to fizzle out.

A man slowly finds himself wishing his ex-wife well in her new marriage. We wish a blessing on the frail humanity of the person who hurt us, even if we were hurt unfairly and deeply.

What is happening? Malice is gradually fading, just as your head gradually stops pounding after you take three aspirin. You have anger without malice — a sign that your forgiving is real.

Anger minus malice gives hope. Malice, unrelieved, will gradually choke you. But anger can goad you to prevent the wrong from happening again. Malice keeps the pain alive and raw inside your feelings, anger pushes you with hope toward a better future.”

The Four Stages of Forgiveness:
1 – We Hurt
2 – We Hate
3 – We Heal Ourselves
4 – We Come Together

How People Forgive:
– Slowly
– With a Little Understanding
– In Confusion
– With Anger Left Over
– A Little at a Time
– Freely, or Not at All
– With a Fundamental Feeling

Why Forgive?
– Forgiving Makes Life Fairer
– Forgiving is a Better Risk
– Forgiving is Stronger
– Forgiving Fits Faulty People

from "Forgive & Forget" by Lewis B. Smedes

Article taken from: http://lifelessons4u.wordpress.com/2009/06/04/forgiveness-and-the-freedom-of-letting-go/

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-10T05:22:00.001-05:00

The Healing Touch of Christ

2010-02-08T04:00:00.005-05:00

Mark 5:25-34 recounts the moment when a woman who had suffered for many years with some kind of bleeding disorder sought out Jesus for help. She said nothing to him. She merely reached out and touched his cloak, knowing that if he was willing he could heal her. She needed help. She needed freedom from her suffering. At that touch her bleeding and her suffering ceased. The cloak was not magic. It contained no power. Instead the one who wore it had and still has ultimate power to touch and heal those who reach out in faith to him. Jesus told the woman that her suffering was over, not because she had touched the cloak, but because of her faith in his ability to heal her. He told her to go in peace and be free from her suffering.

Psalm 28: 7 relates David’s reliance on and faith in God. The Lord was his strength, his shield. He trusted in him and was helped. That same power exists today. Christ is still willing to provide a healing touch to all who reach out in faith. His touch will provide the power so that we know with certainty that what is impossible for man is absolutely possible for God. His touch will provide the power to transform us so that sin is no longer the guiding principle in our lives. And his power can heal us from the consequences of the sin of others-we need only reach out in faith.

Article taken from: http://peacehopeandhealing.co.uk/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/thehealingtouchofchristpdf.pdf

Picture taken from: http://www.supernaturalsigns.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/110_01_0415_biblepaintings-236x300.jpg

Hello. Welcome to the Counseling Hotline

2010-02-01T10:37:00.004-05:00

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.

If you are phobic, don't press anything.

If you are anal retentive, please hold.

Picture taken from: http://www.welive2care.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/telephone-cartoon.png

I'm Alive!

2010-01-25T23:10:00.002-05:00

An Old Legend

2010-01-20T10:11:00.003-05:00

According to an old legend, shortly after Adam had been created, he complained: "O, Lord! You have given the lion fierce teeth and claws, and the elephant formidable tusks; you have given the deer swiftness of legs, and the turtle a protective shell; you have given the birds of flight wings, but you have left me altogether defenseless."
And the Lord said unto Adam, "I shall give you an invisible weapon that will serve you and your children better than any weapons of fight or flight, a power that will save you even from yourself. I shall give you, the sense of humor.”

Article taken from: http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/

Image taken from: http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/dbr/lowres/dbrn813l.jpg

What Humor Can Do To Your Health

2010-01-13T11:28:00.011-05:00

The following changes related to your good health have been demonstrated in research and observed clinically to occur as a result of laughter, smiling, and in the presence of a wide range of positive, pleasant emotions such as will to live, determination, love, compassion, joy, creativity, pleasure, frivolity, festivity, and humor:

Increased heart-rate and blood pressure and oxygenation of the blood (similar to an aerobic workout), followed by decreased blood pressure to very healthful levels.
Increased levels of immune components in the blood including
immunoglobulin-A, a virus-fighting component.
Enlargement of the thymus gland and its secretions.
Pleasant memories are triggered.
Facial, thoracic, abdominal, and extremity musculature gets a workout.
Muscular tension is released.
Emotional tension is released.
Internal organs are massaged increasing blood circulation to them. Additional benefits of laughter and positive feelings are often cited, such as:
- Better doctor/patient relationships.
- A sense of well-being.
- Pleasant, cooperative response from others.
- Increased creativity.
- Increased problem-solving ability.
- Reduced worry due to better perspective.

Article taken from :www.worldlaughtertour.com

Picture taken from: http://www.stolaf.edu/people/murphye/map%20project/laughing.html

Healing Humor

2010-01-05T11:06:00.004-05:00

There is a sense of humor to life that we do well to cultivate. God has given us the gift of laughter but we have to learn to laugh. We are created with a capacity for fun but we have to discover that which is funny. The drama of life contains both tragedy and comedy. We have to blend the humorous with the tragic lest we have nothing but tears. People who never allow themselves to see the funny aspect of things are prone to focus on the dark side of life. It is an unpleasant way to live because life without laughter is dull and routine. People with sad faces and sour dispositions make life difficult for those with whom they live. No one enjoys being around a narrow, nagging critic of the human race. It is laughter that enlivens a relationship. It is humor that counteracts sadness and helps us endure life's monotony. It can be fun to be alive if we know how to laugh. It is equally important to know what to laugh about because a distorted sense of humor can be as obnoxious as no humor at all.

The gospels portray Jesus as having a sense of humor. He laughed and played with the children and used their fun-filled lives as an illustration of the kingdom person. He began His Sermon on the Mount with the happiness beatitudes. His first miracle was performed in the jolly mood of a wedding celebration. There is subtle humor in the way He described the inconsistencies of the scribes and Pharisees. He poked fun at Simon Peter for thinking he was too strong to desert his Lord. He must have chuckled to Himself listening to His companions on the Emmaus Road discuss His crucifixion, unaware as to Whom they were talking.

"Rejoicing" is a recurring theme throughout the New Testament as persecuted and misunderstood Christians were encouraged to laugh and enjoy their relationship to Christ and to one another. Tradition records that John the beloved disciple was being reprimanded by a sanctimonious Christian for playing with his pigeons. His response was profound as he stated, "The bow that is always bent soon fails to shoot straight." The early forbearers of Christianity made joy a priority of their faith. We learn from them that a somber and forlorn faith will not contribute to life's happiness.

Article taken from: http://www.newportpresbyterianchurch.org/clippings/Healing_Humor.htm

Pictures taken from:

http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue/imgs/smileys.jpg

http://images.quickblogcast.com/81157-71050/Laughter_heals_health_wellness_expert.jpeg

Maligayang Pasko sa Inyong Lahat

2009-12-21T17:50:00.001-05:00

Rescuing Hug

2009-12-15T09:39:00.005-05:00

Kyrie and Brielle Jackson were born on 17 October 1995 at the Massachusetts Memorial Hospital in Worcester, MA. Each of the twins weighed all of two pounds at birth. Though

Kyrie was putting on a bit of weight in the days following her arrival, Brielle was not doing as well. She cried a great deal, leaving her gasping and blue-faced.

Brielle was having a particularly bad day. NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit) nurse Gayle Kasparian tried everything to calm her. She held her. She had her dad hold her. She wrapped her in a blanket. She suctioned her nose. Nothing worked

Then, she remembered hearing about a procedure done in Europe. She put Brielle in the incubator with her sister Kyrie. Almost immediately, Brielle snuggled up to Kyrie. Her blood-oxygen saturation levels, which had been frighteningly low, soared. She began to breathe more easily. The frantic crying stopped and her normal pinkish color quickly returned. Over the next weeks, her health improved steadily in her new, less lonely quarters.

The children survived their rocky beginning and in time went home with their parents. When last heard from, Brielle and Kyrie were healthy preschoolers. The media attention brought about by their story and the now-famous photo caused their parents, Heidi and Paul Jackson of Westminster, to change their telephone number.

And famous that photo became. Besides being circulated on the Internet, it has run in Life magazine and Reader's Digest. The photo was taken by Chris Christo of the Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

The Jackson girls made history at Memorial. According to that hospital, "The first co-bedding of twins occurred as an innovation from a staff nurse, Gayle Kasparian, RN."

Another method used to stabilize preemies is "kangaroo care," a term for prolonged skin-to-skin contact with parents and other caregivers.

The technique, so named because of its resemblance to the way pouched animals care for their young, involves skin-to-skin contact between parent and baby. Often the child, wearing only a diaper and covered by a blanket, is placed against the parent's bare chest.

The method is especially effective with premature babies, who are extremely fragile and have almost tissue-thin skin when born. Proponents say the method can have amazing effects: a steadier heart rate, better breathing, greater contentment, deeper sleep.

"Everybody in the world knows you can take a crying baby and pick him up and he'll stop crying," Susan Ludington, professor of maternal and child health nursing at the University of Maryland at Baltimore, says. "You put him down he starts crying again. Babies, and they give us the message quite clearly, prefer to be held. Now we're just finding out that when they are held, there are all these tremendous physiological benefits."

Article by: Barbara "huggies for your baby" Mikkelson

Website: http://www.snopes.com/glurge/hug.asp

"Home" by Michael Buble: A Case of Separation Anxiety

2009-12-10T07:49:00.000-05:00

Effects of Touch Spread From Hand to Body, Spirit

2009-12-01T08:07:00.004-05:00

The importance of touch has been recognized for a long time. Decades ago, studies demonstrated how essential touch was for babies to thrive and develop. The need for touch does not decrease with age.

Touch is a way to communicate to others that we care about them and that we are connected with them. Casual touch involves something as simple as a hand shake, touching someone on the hand or arm or just a pat on the back.

Touch stimulates physiological processes. Just gently holding a person's wrist can lower blood pressure. Other effects are the release of natural painkillers and neurotransmitters necessary for mental function.

American adults are typically touch-deprived; we take a rather dim view of casually touching others. Unlike other societies, we give even casual touching among adults sexual connotations. Our culture may have a dim view of touching, but that doesn't mean that we don't need it.

Seniors are more touch- deprived than younger adults because they are less likely to be in situations where touch naturally occurs. They are more likely to have lost their spouses and are more likely to live separated from friends and family. This is especially true in nursing homes.

To fill this void, nursing homes can offer activities and programs that facilitate touch. Bringing children into the setting will have that effect. Dancing activities can provide an opportunity for touch.

Geriatric massage can be helpful. For instance, hand massage may relieve symptoms of poor circulation or arthritis, as well as reduce stiffness. Geriatric massage should only be used with the approval of a resident's physician because of some potential side effects.

A regular program of pet therapy can provide tremendous opportunities for touch. Some studies have shown that people with pets live longer. Residents who would never think of touching another resident may have no reservations about touching or holding a puppy or kitten.

The healing touch has been a part of medicine for thousands of years, but medicine has become so scientific that the art of medicine has become buried under technology.

We need to be careful about casually touching others in our society until we are sure that it will be received positively. In general, people prefer casual touch on the hands or upper arms or a pat on shoulder. Hugs in our culture are best reserved for family or close friends.

However, we can definitely send a clear message that we are receptive to a senior's touch.

Written by: Hanns Pieper

Source: Evansville Courier & Press

Taken from:

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1348977/effects_of_touch_spread_from_hand_to_body_spirit/index.html

Pictures taken from:

https://www.storesonlinepro.com/files/1835430/uploaded/Man%20&%20Woman%20hands-closeup-compressed.jpg

http://www.tate.org.uk/britain/exhibitions/howweare/images/howwearenow/portrait_grandma.jpg

http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1439/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1439R-51004.jpg

Efren Penaflorida: CNN Hero of the Year 2009

2009-11-25T10:40:00.001-05:00

To My Child

2009-11-25T09:18:00.004-05:00

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying. Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is. Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry and pick you up and take you to the park to play. Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles. Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if it comes by. Just for this afternoon, I won’t worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned. Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won’t stand over you trying to fix them. Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald’s and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you. Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry. Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars. Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows. Just for this evening, when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children’s graves instead of their bedrooms. The mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming inside that little body.

And when I kiss you goodnight, I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day…

(This poem was composed by Peter Bobila Jr., a 29 year old father from Kabul, Afghanistan, for his daughter Rachel who is 10 months old. Doctors detected brain cancer in her tiny body.)

Pictures taken from:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/44/125853498_3402d7d708.jpg

http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1444/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1444R-266684.jpg

http://sweetnostalgia.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/father-daughter.jpg

Forgiveness and the Freedom of Letting Go

2009-11-17T01:10:00.001-05:00

Science of Touch

2009-11-03T22:07:00.016-05:00

Did you know that nearly half of all Canadians could be missing out on physical, psychological and social benefits that are essential to their overall health and well-being – all because of a lack of touch.

Consequences of Touch Deprivation

There is no better way to demonstrate the importance of touch than by examining what happens when we are deprived of it. Most of us have experienced the sensation of touch deprivation at some point – the need to feel the benefits of touch. But touch deprivation can also have more serious consequences.

In the 19th century, infants in their first year of life commonly died from a disease called Marasmus, a Greek word for “wasting away”. Doctors later discovered that this disease was caused by a lack of touch: babies not touched on a regular basis would literally starve themselves to death.

An amazing study completed in the 20th century by touch researcher Ashley Montagu found that children deprived of loving touch suffer the consequences in their bones – small lines of retarded growth, known as Harris lines, appear at the ends of the tibia and the radius.

And the need for touch doesn’t diminish as we age. In fact, research on adults has proven that touch is essential for physical and emotional well-being: regular touch can lengthen life and cut down on doctor’s visits. Touch provides solace, safety, tenderness and soothing.

Touch Benefits
The power of touch is felt most strongly in four areas.

Biological
Studies on infants and children link touch very directly to healthy physical development. And in people of all ages, touch reduces stress, releases seratonin and oxytocins and reduces cortisone levels in the body.

Communicative
There is perhaps no more effective way to communicate than through touch – in fact, touch produces a series of neural, glandular, muscular and mental changes that we interpret as emotion.

Psychological
Touch provides reassurance and comfort and aids in the development of self-identity and self-esteem.

Social
Research has linked the quality of touch experiences to competence in interpersonal relationships. The ability to trust others, and understand the needs of others, is directly related to touching.

Adding Touch to your Life
Feel the need to add more touch to your life? Why don’t you…

Experiment with hugs. Try different types and lengths of hugs. Notice which you like best and when, if ever, you want to stop.
Read to a child, even when they are in the sixth, seventh and eight grades. Make it a tactile family thing to do.
Make early contact. In the first two minutes you make new contact with someone you care about, touch them in a loving way.
Have an emotional touch day. Pick out a particular day, and for every emotion you experience, use touch to express how you are feeling.
Prepare your skin to be touched. Keeping skin healthy makes you more receptive to giving and receiving meaningful touch. A recent Leger Marketing survey conducted on behalf of Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion found that three-fifths of Canadians feel most comfortable engaging in touch when their skin is healthy-feeling.

Article taken from:
http://www.unilever.ca/ourbrands/beautyandstyle/Morearticles/Science_of_touch.asp
Picture taken from:
http://www.embrace-photography.co.uk/im/baby-gallery/003_bump&baby.jpg

Touch Deprivation and Violent Behavior

2009-10-28T08:25:00.002-04:00

Some laws still make it a crime for consenting adults to engage in various types of harmless physical touching. These laws appear to be carryovers from Puritanism, which H. L. Mencken defined as "the haunting fear that someone, somewhere might be happy."

Modern science indicates that wise laws would promote more consensual, pleasurable, and harmless touching instead of discouraging such physical contact. For instance, research by neuropsychologist James W. Prescott shows that insufficient amounts of physical affection may be a cause of high violence rates in the U.S.

For many years, Dr. Prescott was a research scientist and administrator at the National Institutes of Health. He believes that touch deprivation is harmful to people's physical and psychological well-being.

According to Prescott, handling and body contact are essential "nutrients" for the developing brain in humans and other animals. He says depriving infants of physical affection can cause neurological dysfunction that leads to abnormal and harmful behavior.

The undesirable conduct can include depression during infancy and violent acts later, autistic or withdrawn behaviors, inappropriate stimulus-seeking activities, and increased vulnerability to alcohol and drug abuse. Prescott says these acts are sometimes attempts to compensate for sensory deprivation or loss experienced early in life.

Prescott also states that, for persons of all ages, body pleasure and violent behavior have a mutually inhibiting relation. The presence of one actually impedes emergence of the other. He reports that when the brain's pleasure circuits are activated, the violence circuits close down, and vice versa.

After obtaining those findings, Prescott examined data collected by cultural anthropologists. He wanted to determine whether there are correlations between physical affection and rates of violence among cultures.

In analyzing data from 49 societies, Prescott found lower violence rates in cultures having high levels of infant physical affection and high acceptance of sexual expression. On the other hand, violence rates were elevated in cultures that were not very physically affectionate toward infants or were highly sexually repressed.

In history, the sexual repression of Nazi Germany is consistent with Prescott's findings. Hitler lived a relatively ascetic life and was largely asexual. But he unleashed more violence in the world than probably any other person.

Moreover, the Nazis outlawed the purchase of contraceptives, confiscated sexual materials, burned to the ground the world's first center for the study of human sexuality, forbade other research on sexuality, segregated boys from girls in the German Youth Labor Camps, prohibited sexual entertainment, banned nudism, and sent homosexuals to concentration camps.

Besides international comparisons, Prescott cites a study of child abusers to support his views on the relationship between physical affection and rates of violence. This study revealed that parents who abused their children were invariably deprived of physical affection themselves during childhood. The study also rated the adult sex life of the parents as extremely poor.

In further research, Prescott observed that societies having the highest levels of physical affection have low rates of theft, minimal physical punishment of children, and low levels of religious participation.

Other health benefits of physical affection are reported by Dr. Harold Voth, senior psychiatrist at the prestigious Menninger Foundation in Topeka, Kansas. He asserts: "It has been shown scientifically that people who are mentally run-down and depressed are far more prone to sickness than those who are not. Hugging can lift depression - enabling the body's immune system to become tuned up. Hugging breathes fresh life into a tired body and makes you feel younger and more vibrant."

Tiffany Field, director of the University of Miami's Touch Research Institute, gives a similar report. She describes a study in which children who received massage twice a week showed decreased amounts of depression. They also had significantly less anxiety than the study's control group.

Based on his own research, Prescott concludes: "Physically affectionate human societies are highly unlikely to be physically violent."

Prescott's findings mean that an answer to the problem of violent crime may be to increase the amount of physical affection and physical pleasure in society - which is the opposite of what puritanical laws tend to do.

That solution sounds much more pleasant and less expensive than building and staffing more prisons.

Article taken from:
http://www.humanismbyjoe.com/touch_deprivation.htm

Pictures taken from:
http://mindbodysmile.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/hugging.jpg
http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/images/france_ritos_april_violence2.jpg
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00096/child_abuse_96481g.jpg
http://jbfsale.com/images/kids_hugging.jpg

Free Hug (Yakap) - One More Time

2009-10-22T09:57:00.001-04:00

"Haplos" - An Application of Lambing and Haplos

2009-10-13T11:06:00.004-04:00

Awards Won:
Sunsilk Touch Flick Festival
*Best Short Film
*Peoples' Choice award
2006 Los Angeles Short Film Festival
*Official Selection

Dead Mother's Embrace Saves Iranian Baby's Life

2009-10-06T22:07:00.002-04:00

A baby girl cradled in her dead mother's arms was rescued from the rubble of a collapsed building in Bam, officials said on Monday -- a rare moment of joy amid the devastation of Iran's earthquake.

Red Crescent aid officials told Reuters the mother's protective embrace had shielded six-month-old Nassim from falling debris and saved her life.

The rest of her family, which officials said included sisters and brothers, were found dead.

Details of Nassim's recovery are still sketchy.

One Red Crescent Society official said the girl was discovered on Monday a full 72 hours after the quake, but rescue officials and state television later said she had been found after 37 hours.

"She is alive because of her mother's embrace," Hessamoddin Farrokhyar, Red Crescent public relations deputy director in Tehran, told Reuters. "The baby girl is in good condition considering the circumstances."

He said the girl was found in the southern part of Bam. It was not clear how she survived without food or water. Temperatures at night have been bitterly cold.

Iranian state television also reported Nassim's rescue, a sliver of hope on an otherwise bleak day when the death toll climbed toward 30,000.

"The baby girl was found after 37 hours by rescue teams," state television reported. "Unfortunately her mother was dead and she is the only one left alive in her whole family in that house."

The world's most lethal quake in at least 10 years laid waste most of Bam's mud brick buildings in seconds.

Officials have warned the death toll, which is now officially 25,000, could reach 30,000.

The quake which measured 6.3 on the Richter scale struck before dawn as people slept.

On Saturday night, rescuers found a young boy alive under the rubble, but he suffocated as people rushed forward to dig him free.

"We found a seven-year-old boy alive," said Austrian rescue worker Sabine Seichtinger. "The crowd rushed to the scene. But the boy choked and then died."

The search for children -- and the recovery of their broken lifeless bodies -- has provoked particular grief in Iran, with the media capturing heart-breaking images such as one of a man carrying the corpses of his two young sons over his shoulders and burying them together in a small grave.

Article from:
http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/en/doc/2003-12/30/content_294457.html

Picture taken from:
http://blog.silive.com/latest_news/2009/04/large_ITALY-EARTHQUAKE-rubble.jpg